I have seen a lot of articles lately on the merits of mining crypto and the profits to be made and I thought: hey I can do this!
Now admittedly I am not the most technical of folk but still, how hard can it be? I thought.
So I set about starting my mining operation. First things first I set up three miners. I thought this the most diverse and therefore safe way to start earning. It cost forty bucks and a couple of bottles of whisky to entice them into thinking it was a good idea but the promised riches had dollar signs spinning in their eyes.
The miners are in good spirits. At first there is some joking and fooling around but after a bit of shouting and prodding they start to sober up and realise this aint a game.
Gerry is the first to go down the hole and it gives me no small satisfaction to see the other two - Sam and Arnie follow, their head-lights bobbing into the tunnel followed by the distant sounds of their pickaxes striking rock.
Later they return and I feed them chilli and whisky before they throw themselves exhausted into their bunks
No profit/returns : Its cool, apparently it can be a few days before the cash starts rolling in.
It took a while to get the miners out of their bunks. They were a bit gnarly this morning but I reminded them of the riches we would soon be reaping and gave them all a tot of whisky before sending them back down the shaft. Arnie grumbled about his back but a couple of swift kicks in the arse had him running down that hole.
I chortled. This mining lark was gonna make me rich. Bring on the crypto profit!!
End of shift: They returned early, a barrow of rocks behind them, chattering excitedly. We gathered round the barrow. Gerry held aloft a rock with some thick goldish streaks running through it. "We struck gold boss!"
I stared at the rock and a vein started to throb in my temple. "What the FUCK is this?!"
"Its gold boss?" Sam shuffled his feet nervously in the face of my rage.
"Does this look like ZCASH to you?" I spat? "Or Monero? Litecoin? Even that fucking Amp shit?"
"Boss its gold, there is loads down there. We gone and done it, we're rich!"
"JESUS H!!" I screamed. "ZCASH, I fucking sent you to mine ZCASH!! We could have been making 3 dollars a day and you come back with this shit?" I threw the rock at them, then in a frenzy started grabbing the other rocks and lobbing them at their heads. "Get outta here!! Git!!!!"
They ran. Just as well too as I had a fair old temper when my dander was tickled and boy was it tickled.
I closed the mine. A couple of days later some guy came along and offered me a hundred steem for the hole in the ground. Pfft, fool. I pushed him hard, got him up to 200 and handed it over to him. Har. Idiots everywhere!!!
