Looky look, it's Saturday again. Hurrah!
The beer trail is brimming with promise tonight. I was going to go full on pale and IPA styley but then I saw these two little beauties and could not resist picking them up and caressing them in my filthy wanton hands.
So, from the dark depths of the cold and lonely night I bring you two incredible CHOCOLATE beers, to tease and entertain!
Well, I hope they do. Otherwise I will huff and puff and blow someone's house down!!
Let's get started!
A new brewery for me from Nottingham, England. I have never heard of them nor tried any of their beers. Could this be the start of something beautiful?
Neon Raptor, it's a cool name for a brewery, and JAFFA CAKE!?! I trust you know what a Jaffa Cake is? Little discs of magnificence, dark chocolate and orangey jam. Mmm mmm. Can't wait!
Let's see if we are about to get... JURASSIC!! Get it?
Hmm, it slides out the can like vaguely apologetic bat's piss. I'm talking the fanged flappy night creature and not a man in a Lycra and rubber suit.
Nothing to lose and everything to gain. Bring on the bat piss!
Hot damn!! This thing is a tasty delight! I take it all back, there is nothing piss-like about this magnificent beer. It's malty and roasty with dark dark chocolate overtones and then that lovely sparky orange, almost marmalade'y-ness.
I fucking love it. 9/10 booms!!!
Yeehaw, we are off to a belter of a night!!
Surely nothing can follow this? Hmm, how about some...
Well this is a mystery. The artwork on the can is kinda cool but at the same time tells me next to nothing about who makes it. De Moerslutel?... Moerslufel?... Sometimes an 'f' instead of a 't' can make all the difference.
Anyway, this thing claims to have chipotle chilli's in it and as everyone knows I would quite literally eat shit on a stick if it had a chipotle chilli batter.
So let's fly into the dark black heart of the Aztecs and try some of their hot chocolate!
Ah, that's better. This one looks more beer'y than the last although the last one ended up being a topper so it goes to show that you should never judge bats piss by it's cover.
So this cheeky chap has vanilla, chocolate, cinnamon and the mighty chipotle chilli's in it.
My downward bream is fizzing in anticipation.
Oh man alive, what is that taste? That strange awful fake plastic thing. Like sucking a plastic grocery bag. I don't understand. Someone help me understand this madness.
Uh, it's fucking horrible. A waste of metal and water. Damn you whoever you are that brewed this tosh... 3/10 booms!?
It's a bad day when a plastic bag tastes better than a beer.
Oh well, one amazing and one bogging. You can't win em all!!
Have a great weekend everyone.
Cheers!