I noticed something wrong as soon as I woke up.
Don't get me wrong. I woke up feeling serene, relaxed and calm. Which was rather unusual in itself, given the plague we have all been suffering from, my awakenings have been like climbing out of a well used toilet.
So yes, something was wrong but it wasn't that.
I looked out the window, the sun was shining. Well, that was odd, given that it was only March but it wasn't that either.
I grabbed a towel and had a shower. The temperature only oscillated between steam and cold twice. That was just plain normal. So it wasn't that.
I dried myself off and headed downstairs, oddly, I felt neither hot nor cold, but I don't think that is what was wrong.
The living room door was ajar. Gently I pushed it open. Inside I could see the little lady playing with stuff on the floor whilst eating something. She was surrounded by a mound of crumbs. That was entirely normal. Nothing wrong there.
I crept in.
At the table the good lady was doinking the little boom up and down and singing him a song. He was giggling like the splendid little man he is.
Nothing untoward there.
I snuck past. So far, rather successfully, no-one had noticed me.
I made it into the kitchen. One of the cat's, Shady, was munching food from her bowl. She looked up and gave me a little skreowl noise. Then bent back to her breakfast.
I scanned about for the coffee pot. I noticed that it was by the sink. The good lady had only prepared a coffee for herself. That was a little odd. In fact. That was plain bizarre. We always made two coffees.
Always.
It was one of those little italian stove top expresso makers, if you make one you are as well putting in extra and making two. We always make two.
Always.
Then suddenly it all made sense. The feeling of serene calm on waking... the strange sunny skies... Not feeling hot or cold... the little lady not noticing me... The good lady not noticing me... The cat NOTICING ME!!!!
I screamed.
Oh my god, I'm dead!!! I died in the night!!!
What's all that racket?
Yodelled the good lady from the living room.
I'm dead baby!! It all adds up, you made coffee for one... Only the cats can see me! I have moved beyond the veil!!
The good lady came in the kitchen with the little man and fixed me with a pointy eye.
I didn't make you a coffee because we are all feeling better and I thought I would let you sleep so that you might too. Do you?
I patted my chest and belly. I seemed solid enough.
A bit better I think?
Make yourself a coffee you tit.
She left me to my ghostly coffee making. I gave an experimental cough. Oh my, I felt much better. That was what had felt wrong! I was better, the lurgy has cleared!!!
Just in time to go back to work tomorrow...