Honestly, i really don't know what to believe anymore. My repository of beautiful virtues and beatitudes are stacked to the brim. No room again for addition of new collection. The only problem i have is skepticism, a valiant warrior waiting patiently for the opportunity to annihilate my precious virtues.
These are virtues instilled in me from a young age; some from my folks, and some i nurtured on my own- mainly positives picked up from the media, or close observation of peoples association with one another.
One of those beautiful virtues from my precious collection is called love. A powerful emotion that its origin can be traced to the primordial times of human existence; our religious books and unadulterated tales of history can bear witness to this. This is an emotion powerful enough to unite people of different race, tribe and ethnicity.
This is an emotion well preached about in nearly all religions, admonishing their believers to be demonstrators of this virtue at all cost. A book titled 'The power of now' by a seasoned writer named Eckhart Tolle, described "love as an emotion deeper than joy and pleasure."
But this present dispensation has derided and scorned at this deeper emotion with such powerful traits. At the mere mention of it, people show off their dentition in an obnoxious manner, in most cases, deriding the mouth that carries its tales. Such a person is made fun of at the detriment of his/ her strong will to give off or requite love.
The aftermath of the ignominy lives the person at the crossroads of either giving up in the quest for love or forging ahead, despite the challenges. One day, i was engaged in a conversation with my colleagues at work. One of them, a guy; a renowned player, and the other, a girl; broken from previous relationship. I remember telling them that i am never gonna give up on my quest for love- finding a partner that shares the same mindset of the powerful traits of love.
They both looked at me with surprise, mostly in a sarcastically manner.
The guy was like," you are a novice in this field and with time you will understand." He said it with all assurance like, there is nothing good gonna come out of it for me.
The girl said, " the wait is surely going to be long for you." And i replied firmly, "i don't care how long it will take." The girl said, " you have not noticed that the ones we love, don't love us, but the ones we don't love, love us."
That statement hit me like a thunderbolt. And it happened to be true. In my mind, questions started bubbling like foams in a soapy water. Why is it so? What actually went wrong? I thought someone summing up courage to confess their feelings for another should get such a person excited and thrilled, and in turn reciprocate the gesture. But the older I got, the more, the dynamics of this deeper emotion became glaring to me. I keep trying to figure it all out.
Another twist to it is, two people who feel same for each other but in the long run decide to call it quit, which is a rare occurrence. Most cases, one of the parties calls it quit, leaving the relationship unscathed while the other bears the brunt of it all. They both go their separate ways with the hope to meet someone better. In the process of doing so, the scathed one goes into another relationship unprepared and transfers the aggression of last relationship on the new one. The unscathed one from the last split ends up being a victim of another toxic relationship and it continues.
A toxic cycle of unchecked harm is established. The deeper emotion is now reduced to a mere fa莽ade.
