I loved the way her voice made my heart sink, and sent cold rushes down my body that my makeup got ruined with tears on Sunday morning during worship. I couldn't get her voice out of my mind. Even when I played the original artist's song, Nkechi's voice would still re-echo in my head. It had almost become an obsession. I liked this very obsession.
Source
I had attended Rock Word church for only about a few months. I wasn't the type who would initiate a conversation. Up to me, I would talk to no one, but that morning, my first morning at Rock Word, Nkechi had welcomed me with a warm smile that made me feel at home as I walked into the Church premises, the kind of smile the ladies at Solid Kingdom didn't have for me, especially because I was not their class.
I had always dreaded Sundays at Solid Kingdom. When I eventually relocated to Barracks Road and my neighbours kept speaking of how amazing Rock Word was, I didn't think twice before taking a walk to the church.
It was everything I wanted in a church. The faces of the women felt familiar, and their warm “Good morning” mixed with "see you again” after each Sunday service made me go back over and again.
When I began to feel the impact of Nkechi's voice, I knew I wanted something more, something like a deep friendship. If her voice alone was enough to make me weep like a baby and send cold down, then having her as a friend would change me completely.
The pastor had barely shared the grace when I walked down to Nkechi's seat to narrate how much her ministration had caught my heart and sent me to another realm. She was busy with others who probably had something to share with her, but I didn't mind. I waited.
“Your voice, it sent me straight to heaven. I didn't even realise when I shed tears” I kept going on and on with her. She watched me pour out the story of my life patiently that afternoon. I eventually ended with, “ Can I have your number so we could talk, please”
Source
She handed me her Iphone 15 pro. This wasn't cheap. I couldn't bring out mine because I knew it wasn't a match. Competition wasn’t my problem. I just wanted to build a healthy friendship with a sister who was sold out to God, I thought.
The entire week, I had tried reaching out to Nkechi. She wouldn't pick or return my calls. I was worried, and only hoped she was fine where she was. That weekend just before Sunday service, I met her by the entrance. She reached out to me with wide arms and a reassuring smile, apologising for not returning my calls. This was enough to make up for the other days.
We walked to the church cafeteria and spent time talking about improving our lives over hot chicken pie and a cold bottle of drink. I felt really at peace around her and wanted the conversation to continue.
The church's dapper keyboardist walked in as we conversed. Something changed. She grew a little uneasy and immediately cut in,
“I'm sorry, I have to head home. I'll see you within the week. Don't bother to call, I'll call you. Before I got to say proper goodbye, she had picked her bag and left.
Those were the last words from her for about three days. I took solace in her promise to call, but I waited in vain. I had to reach out. Unfortunately, the line didn't go through. My thoughts went wild. She must have blocked me, I thought. I was sure I'll see her the following day in church, so I kept my cool.
I walked in that morning with my long flared black skirt. As I walked through the stairs, the members of Nkechi's choir stared in a suggestive manner. They didn't say anything to me, but their silence whispered too many words. I just ignored it and moved in to search for Nkechi before the service commenced.
She was there, just by the keyboardist rehearsing for the service. She got up immediately and whisked me away from the keyboardist’s sight, more like she didn’t want me to get down to where she was seated.
“I have been calling you. You haven't responded. My calls have even stopped going through and I figured you blocked me” I ranted.
“Me? Why would I do that? I think it's poor network. Besides, I have been very busy” Her defense was so convincing that I began to blame myself for even thinking she blocked me. I quickly apologized and left to use the restroom before the service began.
There were whispers from the windows. It wasn't my style to be a snoop, but I made this exception.
“Nkechi keeps complaining about her disturbance o, she has even blocked her, but the girl is too dumb to realise she's not needed.”
“ I wonder what she even wants from Nkechi. Both of them are from two different worlds,” The other voice added.
My bladder froze. The urge to use the restroom died with those heart breaking whispers. Tears trickled down uncontrollably. I had my suspicions about my inability to reach Nkechi, but she had lied to me, pretending all was well. My misery at Solid Kingdom had come again.
I wanted to confront her. How could she treat me like that? My chest felt really heavy. I took hurried steps into the hall to ask her all I had in mind. There she was, telling the keyboardist how much of a nuisance I was, and her effort to put up with my desire for her attention.
I wept, cleaned my eyes too many times, but the tears won't stop flowing. I felt completely unworthy, unloved and undeserving of any kind of love.
