Helplessness is one situation that can leave someone who can not bear that emotional trauma to depression depending on the situation. In one way or the other, we all have been in that situation that we were so helpless that we had to run to someone and the worst is asking and not receiving. How depressing that can be.
Helplessness is what leads so many to regretful actions in life. They do things they say if not for this, I wouldn't have done this. I have actually seen people say that and I ask myself a question, what if I'm in these people's shoes, would I have been able to stand strong and not let emotions push me to do the negatives. I tell people, you won't know an answer to a difficult situation until you find yourself in something similar or tougher. Some will say no matter what anything is, I can't do this but they are types that can do worst.
To avoid much story, I will delve into my story. The first I will be sharing is the monetary aspect before I delve into the second. I'm the kind of person that hates going broke. No matter how broke I am, I always love to have a last card. That last card is like even if I will die tomorrow, let it be what I will spend last. I don't like being empty and hoping something will happen when it comes to money because I know that possibility is rare although surprises 馃槈 can occur.
It was during the cashless policy period but that phase when money was beginning to circulate but POS agents still maintained their high charges. The bank I used was a disappointing one, one where you have to hold your heart and soul in prayers that there should be network. I was cashless and the last money I had was to transport me to church hoping to withdraw the one I will use for Sunday since it was a thousand naira.
On my way to church that Saturday I stopped at the first POS stand and the man tried withdrawal and it was unsuccessful. There would have been no problem at all but the money was deducted from my account which means I can no longer make withdrawals until it is reversed and we know how uncertain it can be in such a situation. Being that last amount in my account I was contemplating on what to do.
At that point I was helpless, living with the kind of people you can't even approach and explain things to and they will assist you, left me with so much thought on how to go about it. I'm the kind of person who finds it difficult to ask people something relating to money.
What did I do then?
I had no choice on what to do, I had to wait for the reversal to occur which I waited even till I got home and nothing happened. This life, don't voice out to everyone but voice out to people who are always ready to listen to you. Yea, I knew I had people I reside with that I would have voiced out to but I didn't, not because I'm proud but because of their negative mindset.
I had to make a plan B on what to do which was to trek . That's something I have never done in my life trekking to church. It's not something bad because I trek to other places but I consider trekking to church hectic and an exercise that can get me disorganized mostly when walking fast because you are late, the tempo you will enter the church with, the sweat made me prefer paying my way. But that Sunday was different, I was planning how I would wake up by 4:30am and begin to prepare. So I can leave the house by at most 5:30am and get to church at 6:20am because I will obviously walk majestically in a way I won't sweat. And relax for the 30 minutes before Mass starts.
It was well planned and sealed. But something happened. I got a call from my proprietor who asked me if I have seen what he sent to me? I was like no sir.
"I have sent your salary to your account."
"Sir, really?"
"Yes , check," those were his final words and I assured him I would check and give him feedback. Quickly my joy knew no bounds at that time. I was so excited because my trekking plan was canceled. I quickly went to my account and saw the credit alert expecting the 1,000 to have been reserved but wasn't.
The time was already getting to 9pm, so I took the risk of checking if I would see any POS kiosks. I walked West and East before I finally saw one. With that helpless feeling, I withdrew something tangible to console myself.
Also, was the embarrassing moment I walked barefoot due to my shoe cutting on the road. This road is a busy one that everyone stares at whoever passes. That particular shoe I wore that day happened to be one I love that gives me this rich girl look.馃槄馃槄 So, anytime I put it on I fear what if it cuts. It happened one day and I was lucky to see shoe mender whole mended it for me. Being a shoe with a higher sole, the man struggled with it until he was able to just do something. I didn't know the man didn't repair the shoe but only killed it. I wore it for just four days and on the fifth day, I was helpless on the road.
When it happened, I was helpless because there was no shoe mender, I didn't know what to do. I couldn't obviously proceed to where I was heading, I had gone far from home, I couldn't stand still, I had to do something. I have never faced the shame of walking barefoot on a busy road. Experiencing made me feel odd. It was embarrassing, I pulled off that leg and started walking back home. At that point I was shy but I didn't let it go.
Answering the question if I can let that happen again. My answer would obviously be no. It was from the first encounter that I learnt to always have extra in my miscellaneous account. So in case I try to get a thousand naira and there is an issue I will have something to fall back to and not go helpless. Then for the shoe, any shoe that needs double-check I simply don't use it or carry extra in case that one disappoint me, I will have another to help myself with.
