Toast Gone Wrong.

Let me take you down memory lane😁. It was after I finished my secondary school. I have always promised myself to not get involved in anything dating till I'm done with secondary school. And trust me, I didn't. Now I'm done, and you know that stage you get to when you think you are all grown up and ready to mingle. I was feeling myself because I now have access to some oversized shirts and jeans from my brother's cupboard, and I get to use his perfume too. So, even I was feeling myself.

There was a lady in my street I had been nurturing😁, like in my mind o, I had practiced the best catchy and romantic lines. Well, as we would always say, I have interest in the girl, and I wan toast her. And in my mind, I thought I was ready to go; I thought she wouldn't even have an option after hearing my already practiced toast lines😋.

Let's call her Dabira. Dabira happens to live on my street and is a very good customer of my mom. One of the things that attracted me to her is not even her beauty; it was her neatness for me. I don't know if that's how she is in the corners of her room, but then when you see her out, her clothes are always neat, she uses her lip glosses, she packs her hair, and all. But she has this don't even come near me face. She's not the always smiling type. One day, she came over to our shop to buy some stuff, and as the funny guy that I was, I threw some lines in, and she smiled. She even patted me on the back and slapped my laps.

Believe me, if not for my mom, who was in the shop with us that day, omo, I would have shoot my shot that very afternoon. But then, I believe that was a green light already. That encounter already gave me some stupid confidence, and I prepared for the next time we would see each other.

So one evening, it wasn't that late at night; at least you could still get to see/know who's coming in some distance. I had brushed my teeth twice that morning; in the afternoon I did the same, and when I was about to step out that evening, I brushed again. I don't have mouth odor, but then, just to be sure I was good enough, and who knows, anything can happen 😋. Likewise, I had also stolen my brother's perfume and used it graciously on myself. He had told me to stop using his thing, but I wouldn't listen, me sef no small again na.

My plan was simple.... I would go to that route she normally takes, I would greet her, jokingly ask her why she didn't ask about me from Mum when she came to buy stuff earlier in the day, and then throw some lines. Believe me, she has no option but to fall immediately.

But guess what, when she finally appeared, I couldn't talk; everything I had planned to say disappeared. It was as if I logged out of my brain.

"Dabira...how are you? I said, stammering.

She looked at me and responded with confidence. Yes, I'm fine. How may I help you?

Have you seen a generator on a plank before? You know how it does shake? That's definitely the way my heart was shaking and beating really fast. Seeing how she responded to me with all steeze and composure made my confidence vanish immediately.

“I…. I.... I just wanted to let you know I like you, and tha....t I would want us to.....

You won't believe this girl cut me short midsentence.

“Ehn, you say? From where to where, please? I don't have time for this nonsense.”

And before I could explain further and buttress my points, she adjusted her bag, hissed, and walked out on me. I just stood there looking.

I never knew some of the guys in my neighborhood had been eavesdropping; that's the route they normally take when going to the field. I just heard laughter from behind. They started teasing me.

"My guy, another go sup."

"No think am, na man you be."

"You sef go dey toast woman empty-handed."

Well, I learned my lesson that day.