Christmas passed, some celebrated the birth of Jesus, others celebrated being with their families, and they did not remember that Jesus was born on December 24 2018 years ago. Others celebrated eating, asking for abundance at home, and others just spent it sleeping.
But, I also know of others who had a great deal of pain and annoyance, seeing that their friends and neighbors celebrated in many ways and that these ways were good and that they simply could not celebrate anything, they had no reason to celebrate nothing and they just did not want to celebrate anything.
It arrived at the end of the year and everyone with a hullabaloo awaits 2019 happy and cheerful. Dressed in good clothes, new or depending on the circumstances and the place where you live, could have used clothes, given, a little decent, repaired, recovered or simply nothing ...
Just as on December 24, many prepared for the safe abundance for next year 2019, new clothes to call prosperity or just to release as time premieres to your year .... Brand new clothes and brand new year ... But I also know that some had nothing to do with anything and nothing to look forward to, those people who had nothing to show for the moment waited without eagerness and without fury. They wanted to show that it was something normal, a normal day, normal clothes, with normal people, a normal moment, a normal day ...
Some people hid pain in their hearts and that did not allow them to be such a special day ...
The young man entered the apartment looking for the friend, with a firm voice, safe and carefree, with a certain air of contempt for the moment he lived, and rejection of the celebrations that were around him.
Out of his mouth were obscene words, with harshness and annoyance: -they lack 15 minutes ... - he receives a phone call, he is his sister, she is 17 years old; He asks her with the same hard and cold tone where she is and with whom -he answers- at home is Samuel. - She tells him that she will go to bed and be careful - he tells her that he is fine - he says goodbye and cuts the call.
The few people in the apartment are sitting, they get up, they walk, they look through the balcony- they place the radio on the cell phone, They listen to the poem by ANDRES ELOY BLACO: "THE 12 GRAPES OF TIME." (It is a tradition to listen to them at parties decembrinas in Venezuela) know that there are only a few minutes until the year ends, then they listen to the song: "There are 5 for twelve" by Néstor Zabarce (It is another tradition to listen to it in the December holidays in Venezuela), it is already known that there is less five minutes for the year to end.
The young man speaks in a cold way, he says obscenities: -who is leaving this year already, -is a year any- -now, it's done, he left, he left ... -and always accompanied by obscenities-Come on, come on, say and he repeats it with the same coldness and hardness in his words.
He is 15 years old, he does not want to see the joys, and we are not happy, our children did not come, they could not travel. A daughter who did not come because she is in Ecuador, left because of the desperation of the political and economic situation that we live in the country. The other two children study in Coro, Falcón state. Here in Venezuela: they could not come because of the situation of the passage. Very few buses and now the ticket is very expensive. They could not come to spend Christmas and the end of the year with their mother. They were left alone in a distant city where they do not have families and their companions, who live in the states closest to the falcon state are also traveling, they could travel to their families' home ....
Everything is as murky. There is no need to celebrate but you have to welcome the new year with sadness and disdain. It hurts the soul, it hurts the heart these days are important, the family meets and they share their love ... but far away it is not possible ... everything hurts, The soul hurts, The heart hurts. The sadness gets sadder and also accompanies you.
There is no way you can feel happy ... there is no way to receive the happy new year ... because sadness is your first company.
The young man looks at us and conceals, he does not want to see more sadness, but he has to live it. It is a time when you can not hide, I try to escape and could not, I come to the same place.
The twelve chimes rang out, the song ended: "There are 5 to twelve" the rockets are heard, the fireworks are heard, the crowd is heard, the shouts of joy are heard, the blessings are heard, the Hugs, laughter and good wishes are heard; but you can not hear the cry of single mothers, the disturbing noise of a hug of pain and sadness of the mother because her children are not there, because thedaughter is not ....... Because the mother is not ...
he young man leaves, he runs away, he does not give the happy year, he does not accept any invitation to stay for dinner. - He ate already - he answered -. He left, he wants to be alone, to see the event as a normal day, because for him it is surely one of the worst days of his life.
And I had to understand it, I felt obliged to understand his state of annoyance, of agony, of pain hidden inside his soul. See your anger inside yourself. I had to understand it, we looked at it and we understood it, we accepted its behavior, its annoyances, its anguish, its pain, its sadness hidden in its hard and cold words. As well as understanding the pain for the children who are not there, I understood the pain of the absent mother in the air ......
Her mother, who had died for four months, had committed suicide due to a chronic depression that she could not control. They had put her husband in jail, it is her father, a bad deal she made and finally it was over, she was discovered at the time and was denounced, she was imprisoned.
This fact further demoralized the mother, who was already disillusioned by the fact that he deceived her and with this news plus the cumulative problems of the country, she could not bear to continue living. She got so lost in her pain that it made her forget her children, that they needed her, they are still children. She did not understand it, her brain did not allow her to understand it. He joined his sadness and shame, he felt no desire to live ...
She anticipated his death, talked to her sister and her 17-year-old daughter and told her of her wishes not to live, there were so many problems in the country, so many problems with food, so many problems with transportation, the deceit of the husband now imprisoned it did not give him the strength to continue breathing the same air as his children, even teenagers.
And amidst the confusion of the screams of the hysterical sister because she heard from her lips that she did not want to continue living, she asked her to take care of her children because she could not do it anymore, and the daughter's pain when seeing that her mother did not think about the loneliness in which he was going to leave them, and between the calming for the hysterical sister and the consolation to his daughter, the mother took advantage of a moment of carelessness and managed to leave her apartment, climbed the stairs and reached the roof of the building that stops Greater sadness and astonishment had the door open. She walked to the edge of the building and threw herself from the fourth floor, her body torn and lifeless, at the feet of a neighbor who was passing through the place at that moment.
The screams, the blow and the noises were thunderous, all were paralyzed to understand what had just happened, negligently left her alone and left the apartment door open, also the roof door was open and had just happened what ever It must have happened.
They had 15 days protecting the movements of the dead mother. Avoiding leaving her alone, preventing her from committing the fact that she announced to them.
Everyone ran to the place where the body fell, the 17-year-old daughter buzzed over him, crying inconsolably, trying to lift her up, maybe looking for a sign of life, a sign that she could still walk.
Her son: he, the teenager shouted, screamed when he saw her lying on the floor, full of blood, ran out into any space of the residential complex, looking for her, or perhaps, wanting to erase from his memory what he had just seen. He had just seen his mother lying on the floor without vital signs, she had just seen her mother dead on the floor. He had just seen his mother who did not understand that they were still children and that he should not leave them alone. She had just seen her mother who could not bear the pain and sadness that had overwhelmed her and she preferred to let the breeze take her life to nowhere, to no space with them.
Without it there would be no place or important space, there would be no birth of Jesus, no end of years to dismiss or a new year to celebrate, there would be no holidays to share.
The days pass quickly because for some they are very happy and for others they are still very sad.
Everyone has their soul set on God, they have left their pain to God, They decided that the mental load was unbearable, that they could already think and tolerate it.
To think if they could save her paying more attention, to think if a hysteria of a sister was not important in the face of the imminent danger of someone who did not want to die. They thought about all the options and the mental pressure was so strong and great that the only relief they felt was given with the delivery of guilt or probabilities to God ...
God can give them the strength to overcome such an unhappy situation and be able to lead a quiet life, possibly quiet.
