A veces yo creo que todos los escritores, de alguna manera, empezamos escribiendo versos para esa muchacha del colegio que nos gustaba.
Despuรฉs, algunos pasamos a escribir relatos, novelas, libretos de ficciรณn, y es posible que hasta algรบn dramรกtico haya por ahรญ.
Aquellos, por lo menos en mi caso, eran versos torpes de adolescente, y recuerdo que los escondรญ en la tapa del cuaderno de matemรกticas. Claro, eran versos que nunca me atrevรญ a entregarle a la destinataria.
"ยฟQuรฉ es poesรญa?, dices mientras clavas / en mi pupitre tu pupila azul. / ยฟQuรฉ es poesรญa? ยฟY tรบ me lo preguntas? / Poesรญa... eres tรบ."|(Bรฉcquer).
Ahora que lo pienso mejor, me parece que entregar aquellos poemas era como desnudar el alma, y a los quince aรฑos uno todavรญa tiene cierta vergรผenza de la desnudez. Pero allรญ estaban aquellos versos, existรญan, temblorosos, secretos, esquivos, como aves buscando un nido que calentara los pupitres.
Con el paso de los aรฑos fui descubriendo que aquellos poemas, los nuestros y los de otros de mi generaciรณn, secretos a fin de cuentas, no eran otra cosa que una especie de ecos de una voz mรกs profunda: la voz de un hombre que habรญa nacido y vivido lejos, un tipo melancรณlico, de bigote copioso y mirada triste, que mucho antes de que nosotros naciรฉramos ya habรญa escrito todo lo que querรญamos decir.
Pero no lo conocรญamos. Era Gustavo Adolfo Bรฉcquer, y sigue siendo, en dรญas como estos, catorce de febrero, el gran poeta secreto de todos los enamorados que aรบn no saben que lo son.
Bรฉcquer no ha escrito de guerras ni de heroรญnas inalcanzables. Justamente para esa muchacha del colegio, para la de todos los tiempos, la que se sentaba a dos filas adelante, la que se dejaba caer sobre el cuaderno mientras escribรญa, para ella escribiรณ Bรฉcquer.
Eso es Bรฉcquer: la capacidad de mirar a una mujer y de ver en ella no solo a una mujer, sino a la poesรญa misma encarnada. El poeta tenรญa el don, un terrible y maravilloso don, de saber que el amor, cuando es amor verdadero, duele casi tanto como la ausencia.
"Los suspiros son aire y van al aire. / Las lรกgrimas son agua y van al mar. / Dime, mujer, cuando el amor se olvida, / ยฟsabes tรบ adรณnde va?"|(Bรฉcquer).
Hoy es un dรญa en que la gente se regala cosas, cosas de cartรณn, digamos, o regalos virtuales. Pero lo verdadero, no, no se compara con ninguna tienda no sรฉ, esto de Bรฉcquer, su manera de amar y de sentir, sigue siendo รบnico.
"Podrรก no haber poetas; pero siempre / habrรก poesรญa."|(Bรฉcquer).
Yo quiero pensar que, en estos tiempos tan difรญciles, todavรญa hay espacio para eso. Sin embargo, hay una gran ironรญa en todo: un tipo que escribiรณ tanto sobre el amor imposible, sobre mujeres que pasan y dejan una estela de luz, un tipo asรญ, muriรณ joven y pobre.
Y no sรฉ por quรฉ, ese mismo poeta, siglo y medio despuรฉs, y quiรฉn sabe hasta la eternidad, necesita ser aprendido de memoria por quienes aรบn creen en esa forma de locura cuerda que se llama enamoramiento.
Bรฉcquer supo tambiรฉn del desamor, supo de las noches en vela, de las palabras que no encontraban destinatario, de las cartas que nunca se mandaron. Supo de esa soledad del escritor que mira por la ventana y busca entre la bruma el rostro de la amada ausente.
"ยกQuรฉ hermoso es ver el dรญa / coronado de fuego y de luz despertar, / y, al rumor de la brisa, entornando los ojos, / sentirse dormir... y, sin embargo, velar!"|(Bรฉcquer).
Supo de la distancia. Y sin embargo, a pesar de esa melancolรญa, nos deja un legado de esperanza. Aunque sea breve, es una esperanza que merece la pena, y es importante atraparla, aunque sea por un instante.
A ti, hoy catorce de febrero, que sientes que esa persona te hace latir el corazรณn un poco mรกs de prisa, acuรฉrdate tambiรฉn de Bรฉcquer. De que, si quieres, los versos caben en una hoja cuadriculada.
Mucho antes de los corazones en internet, mucho antes, habรญa rimas. Tal vez el mejor regalo que podemos hacer es escribir algo, un poema, un verso, aunque sea torpe, aunque sea con el corazรณn adolescente. Un poema que tal vez sea ese eco agradecido de la voz de Bรฉcquer.
Todos, de alguna manera, seguimos escribiendo poemas para la muchacha que nos gustaba. Y, de alguna manera, vamos a seguir escribiendo para ella, para esa que no hemos conocido, para la que ya se fue, para la que se quedรณ en cada uno de esos versos.
"ยฟQuรฉ es poesรญa? ยฟY tรบ me lo preguntas? / Poesรญa... eres tรบ."
๐ Texto e imรกgenes de mi Propiedad. Versiรณn al inglรฉs en Google Translation
๐ ๐ต๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ข ๐ท๐บ๐๐ (๐ด๐๐ฟ/๐ด๐ฝ๐ถ)
Sometimes I think that all writers, in some way, start by writing verses for that girl in school they liked.
Later, some of us move on to writing short stories, novels, fiction scripts, and it's possible there's even a play or two out there.
Those, at least in my case, were clumsy teenage verses, and I remember hiding them in the cover of my math notebook. Of course, they were verses I never dared to give to the intended recipient.
โWhat is poetry?โ you ask, while you fix / your blue eyes on my desk. / What is poetry? And you ask me that? / Poetryโฆ is you.โ (Bรฉcquer)
Now that I think about it more, it seems to me that handing over those poems was like baring my soul, and at fifteen, one still feels a certain shame about nakedness. But there they were, those verses, they existed, trembling, secret, elusive, like birds searching for a nest to warm the desks.
As the years passed, I discovered that those poems, ours and those of others of my generation, secret after all, were nothing more than a kind of echo of a deeper voice: the voice of a man who had been born and lived far away, a melancholic fellow with a thick mustache and a sad gaze, who long before we were born had already written everything we wanted to say.
But we didn't know him. It was Gustavo Adolfo Bรฉcquer, and he remains, on days like these, February 14th, the great secret poet of all lovers who don't yet know they are.
Bรฉcquer didn't write about wars or unattainable heroines. It was precisely for that girl in school, for the girl of all time, the one who sat two rows ahead, the one who slumped over her notebook as she wrote, for her Bรฉcquer wrote.
That is Bรฉcquer: the ability to look at a woman and see in her not just a woman, but poetry itself incarnate. The poet had the gift, a terrible and wonderful gift, of knowing that love, when it is true love, hurts almost as much as absence.
"Sighs are air and go to the air. / Tears are water and go to the sea. / Tell me, woman, when love is forgotten, / do you know where it goes?" (Bรฉcquer)
Today is a day when people give each other things, cardboard things, let's say, or virtual gifts. But the real thing, no, it can't be compared to any store, I don't know, this thing about Bรฉcquer, his way of loving and feeling, remains unique.
"There may be no poets; but there will always / be poetry."|(Bรฉcquer).
I want to believe that, in these difficult times, there is still room for that. However, there is a great irony in it all: a man who wrote so much about impossible love, about women who pass by and leave a trail of light, a man like that, died young and poor.
And I don't know why, but that same poet, a century and a half later, and who knows, for all eternity, needs to be memorized by those who still believe in that form of sane madness called falling in love.
Bรฉcquer also knew about heartbreak, about sleepless nights, about words that found no recipient, about letters that were never sent. He knew that solitude of the writer who looks out the window and searches through the mist for the face of the absent beloved.
"How beautiful it is to see the day / crowned with fire and light awaken, / and, at the whisper of the breeze, half-closing one's eyes, / feel oneself asleep... and yet, to keep watch!" (Bรฉcquer).
He knew about distance. And yet, despite that melancholy, it leaves us a legacy of hope. Though brief, it is a hope worth holding onto, and it is important to grasp it, even if only for a moment.
To you, today, February 14th, who feel that this person makes your heart beat a little faster, remember Bรฉcquer as well. Remember that, if you wish, verses can fit on a sheet of graph paper.
Long before hearts on the internet, long before, there were rhymes. Perhaps the best gift we can give is to write something, a poem, a verse, even if it's clumsy, even if it's with a teenage heart. A poem that might be that grateful echo of Bรฉcquer's voice.
We all, in some way, continue to write poems for the girl we liked. And, in a way, we will continue writing for her, for the one we never met, for the one who has already left, for the one who remains in each of those verses.
"What is poetry? And you ask me that? / Poetry... is you."
๐ Text and images are my own. English version available via Google Translate.