Hellooooooooooooooooooooooo World!
Yeah yeah I knoooow I have been MIS these past few weeks!
December was also the busiest month, a lot of office activities were lined up as well as family gatherings here and there. It was like a rolleroaster kind of thing especially that 2022 was the year where the Covid restristions were lifted. People are excited to meetup and gather face to face. It has been quite long that we were confined from not seeing other people at close proximity. Though COVID 19 is not yet totally gone, the virus is still out there, I hope people still take the extra precaution. It is always a good thing to keep ourselves safe from any harm and sickness.
Soooooo, year 2023 had hit our family with a bang! a not so good BANG.
First week of January my mother was admitted to the hopsital for she was suffering from what foot pain due to her unhealed wound in her toes. She had been enduring the pain since the Christmas week, only then that she complained that she'd be brought to the hospital because she could no longer take the pain. The wound seemed to have healed very slowly because she has diabetes, too, which makes it all complicated. My mother is already senior at 67 years old.
Then here comes the laboratory results and doctor's feedback that my mom had to go to FOOT AMPUTATION!!!!!
Upon receiving the bad news, it was really disheartening for all of us! We had not really expected that it was that bad already. 😭😭😭
**
And it does not stop there! When the doctors had done several tests including the foot xray on how far the virus had spread in her legs, the results came back that it already reached above the knee!!!! Oh my!!!!!!! I did not took it lightly! I was suddenly weak on my toes and started crying. I felt soooooo sooooo bad for my mom because who would really want to loose a foot or say a leg for that matter. My mother is already old and having to loose a part of her body is very devastating and depressing. 😥
The doctors said (and og by the way she has had five doctors attending to her!!! 😭 so just imagine the PF in our bill huhuhu), that per examination and lab tests the infected area has already make way above her knees. And that alone is I DO NOT KNOW HOW TELL OUR MOM?!! It took us a lot of convincing to say goodbye to her wounded foot toes. It never dawned on us that almost half of her leg will be taken awayyy. The virus had already reached to the arteries of her leg bones and still building up. The doctors had also extracted huge pus secretion in her right foot and still there more coming out. The operation for foot amputation must taken the soonest or else the pain will just keep getting the best of our mom. And for her age, the healing process and her capability to endure pain is very much low. The doctors told us to proceed with the operation before it is too late.
Oh momma dearest, how I wish we could take your pain away. 😔😟... You may not be the perfect mother in the world but still you are our MOTHER! We wouldn't want to choose another one or regret having you as our mom. You had tried and did all your might to sustain us until we get to age. Even if we are on the right age to be on our own, you never abandon your children despite and inspite of everything. We owe you our lives and that cannot be paid off by any amount of money. We are not rich but we did get by and continue to survive each day. No daugther or son would want and see mothers in pain. Now that we have children of own, it kills me too, I feel and understand the struggles of all mothers. If only I have had enough money too to spoil you with everything I would, we all would!!!
I apologize mother for not exactly providing you all the money could buy. But please know how much love we have for you. We loooooove you dearly mom! Please hang on for more, we would do and find ways to get you comfortable in the current situation that you are in. We will try to find the means to do so. Do not worry about it, that is our burden to carry now. This too shall pass, lets give it to faith and believe we can go through this together. Daddy G do keep us whole, protect and nurture us in our everyday. We lift everything to you.
I was having mixed emotions not to mention where we can find the needed money to pay for her medical bills and needs. haaaaaaaaaaaaayssss... How I wish we were born rich so that we could no longer dwell with issues over money. As being the first child of four children, the responsibility has been endowed upon me since then at a very young age. It is quite hard to maintain all monetary requirements for my biological family as well as for my own family as well. I already have three children to look after plus all other basic needs to sustain. My siblings do not have a stable job as mine, so they can only share a little. The biggest share is on my back, in fact me ang my sister! Can I just snap my finger and the money would just appear immediately??? Wooow that would be convenient eh..hhhhmmmmmm... But I told my mom not to worry about the money and that she just focus on how to get better and just leave the worrying to us.
To be honest, I hold on to faith really really hard. Daddy G won't forsake us in this difficult times. I am not that religious, but I had somehow calmed myself and prayed perevently. Asking for guidance and HELP to get through our family delimma. We cannot go through this on my own. This is beyond me, beyond us. Someone did told me, that when you pray be specific of what you really want, or speak what your heart truly desires. Sooooo first and foremost, I had asked Daddy G that the operation would go smoothly and that no other complications because the pain is already too much for everyone. Second, that he would not allow me to be so stress over money and that even if we go to loan sharks we could still be able to pay them off no matter how long, what matters is we also can be able to get by our everyday needs. And Third, to have him share our worries and anxieties so that depression will not have to sink in.
Being admitted to a hospital entails a lot of money especially on the daily prescriptions, routinary everyday food, room charges, nurses and doctors professional fees and as well as the scheduled operation itself. I was forced to go to loan sharks! Ouch!!! good luck to me for all those high interests.. huhuhuhu.. 😩😤. I did not have any other choice, my mother had no pension yet due to pending loans at the GSIS and had no health insurance as well. Soooooo guys you better get your parents some health insurance before this kind of thing happens to you. Having a health insurance has its perks and advantage. So get the one!!!
Both our families are along the genes of having diabetes. In my side, I have about three aunts who died and suffered under diab while on my husband' side was his father. Diabetes is not just acquired through genes though, it also can be sourced out to our lifesytle, our way of living. We have had a very late realization that HEALTH is truly WEALTH because it is very very costly to get sick. Of course, one can evade sickness if we just take care of our body and not abuse it. I am already thinking to live a more healthy lifestyle and it is a struggle too especially we had been used of living carelessly before. As they say, it is never too late. Take is slow, one step at a time.
Folks, I apologize if I brought this here. There is no other way I could pour all this inside my heart. I feel like I'm about to burst anytime. I am truly crying while I am typing this. I fear for our future but we are holding on and hoping that there is light coming. Life might be difficult but we are not giving up. I am so much grateful to my siblings that somehow a great sense of responsibility has came out from them. I am not alone in this fight, I have them. They have my back as I have theirs. It is not really really easy. The fear, the anxiety and the stress that we are getting is beyond what I could express in words.
Today, mother is doing fine, her medication and maintenance are getting by somehow. We had asked for financial assistance in the local government, some had approved us and others did not. Oh well, we cannot have all of them. No matter how small or big the assistance, we are still grateful for it sustains us for some days. The other days a big question mark at the moment.
Seeing her smile is giving me strength, knowing that she had somehow see some brigther side on all this. My mom is a exceptionally a fighter! I love you mother duck!!!! Always and forever!!
I guess that is all for today. Thank you that I was able to air this out of my system. Somehow it lessen my pain and worries. Thank you for reading till the end. This may not be a happy story to share but somehow you had helped me lighten up my spirit. Now give your momma some super duper hug!!!!! ❤️
Have a blessed day to all!
yours always,
