Insomnia and anxiety attacks are all too often after my many days here in the clinic. Today I feel like like everything is too complicated and my body is so very tired of the constant struggle with my emotions.
The stupid dreams that I have every night are a big part of this, and every little mishap that happens during the day makes me extremely nervous and depressed.
I keep thinking that I need somebody new in my life that will help me to feel good again, I just yearn to be loved and accepted by somebody with a kind heart hoping that my problems will go away, In my mind I know this is wrong and the worst solution but my heard tells me a diferent story.
The ups and downs are constantly there, Im either extremely happy and positive or the complete oposite. I feel worse almost as terrible today as I did the day before I came here.
Ive been told that maybe they are going to change my medication, that in itself causes panick due to my rejection to pharmaceuticals. This morning they gave me diazepam to help calm me down, but I just want to be free of these pills.
I feel like I would be willing to do anything to help ease the pain , to stop the ups and downs and just be able to be a normal happy person again.
