Set Me Free

Do you know what it is like to not ever have your voice heard? Having the thought in your mind that you must stay quiet at all times. It is like playing with fire, eventually you are going to get burnt. When we as humans never speak what is on our mind, we lose ourselves. We try to find our own way to release those thoughts that constantly run through our brain. For me, speaking up wasn't an option when I was growing up. Not because I was made to stay quiet but because I felt like it did more harm to others if I had an opinion too. No matter what the situation was, I made myself believe that I did not have a voice, my opinion didn't matter. Growing up I was even given the nickname mute, that is literally how much my voice was heard.

This next poem, came from the heart. The raw emotions from growing up a shy and quiet person when I should have spoken my mind.

Set Me Free

I sit alone in the dark
I've got nowhere left to go
I sit alone in the dark, with nowhere left to hide
The tears heavily flow down my cheeks
But eventually, they begin to slow
Why can't I make it stop?
I've tried, I've tried, I've tried...

The screaming and the fighting, it just doesn't end
I tell myself to suck it up -
I won't break, I won't fold and I won't bend
I turn the music up
Trying to drown out the cries
Tell me when will all of this end
Please stop with all the lies
"There goes your little princess, there she is again"
You know what -
Fuck this music, Fuck these thoughts
Help me find a pen

I wrote down my feelings
I wrote down what I thought
Happiness is what I wanted
Happiness is what I sought

Contentment isn't easy
That still stands today
One day I will make it
I know I'll find a way
Growing up I stayed quiet
Through the bullying at school
Today you will hear my voice
I am done being the fool

At home, I stayed quiet
Until I finally spoke my mind
Her inner strength was shown
My mom finally left this time
Now I speak my thoughts
I do not hold back
For 26 years, that is what I have lacked

My heart still holds a burden
For all of the unspoken words
Listen to me, listen to what I have to say
I just want to be heard
After years of staying quiet
I have taken advantage of my voice
Sometimes I speak from anger but it feels like I have no choice

I am a Woman
I am strong and you can be too
Speak your mind, don't hold back
That's all you can do
Once I found my voice, that is when I grew.

My heart and soul are both still in the process of being set free
Now I get called a bitch but this, this is me.

Artist's Statement

I wanted the beginning of this poem to have the emotions of a person who feels alone because their voice cannot be heard. Towards the end, I wanted that feeling to lighten up, like the weight has been lifted up. My mom stayed with my stepdad for a really long time but eventually she did leave him, she finally showed her strength. The strength that we all have within us. As you read in the poem, "There goes your little princess, there she is again", those were the exact words that he would say. The fights were always at night, a few short hours before school started and I would turn the music all the way up to drown out the noise.

I was bullied in the 5th grade, every single day. I was 1 out of 5 white children in the school. I tried to tell someone in school and they sent me back to class and told me to stop coming to them. I spent one year in that school and then my mom transferred me.

This poem shows the battle of what it is like to hold in those thoughts inside of our mind. The battle of finally speaking up and it sounding like it's anger. The battle of still searching for that contentment from staying quiet for so long.

My heart and soul are both still in the process of being set free

This is a powerful sentence for me because I am in the process. Before I started to speak up, there was no process, there was nothing but the emptiness inside of me.

Women should not be afraid to speak what is on their mind. Women constantly get labeled as crazy when they do speak up. Do you know what that does to a person for simply speaking their thoughts? Sure some of us are crazy but we probably have a good reason! Feminist Fire is all about finding that inner strength that we bury deep down inside of us. To me, it is the moment that we open up our eyes and realize that we have opinions too. It is the moment that we allow our voices to be heard and our hearts to heal.

Set Me Free

Set Me Free

This is my entry into #TeamGirlPowa Poetry Contest: Feminist Fire!

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