I am grieving my son.
He lies infront of me and I am grieving him.
I miss him already knowing he will go back to his dad on monday.
I miss him and he lies infront of me.
I allowed myself to explore this feeling more and underneath this is the grieve of our relationship so far.
He is with his dad so much more now than he was before and he grows so much so very quickly.
I am still dialt into mothering a toddler and baby. Now he has become a boy.
He grew up and I haven't quite caught up with it.
I feel challenged.
I was busy catching up with rebuilding my life. We knew each other so well. We were a team.
He loved me tickling him on the belly and smacking his butt playfully. He loved cuddles.
We played games he no longer appreciates and enjoys as much as he used to.
The tickling feels weird to him and cuddles are reduced now.
He is growing up.
It's a dance and at the moment a rather vigilant one.
I am grieving the old times. Him as a baby and toddler.
I can still see him as a baby and toddler when I look at him now.
I see him as if he stood right before me.
It makes me feel sad. In a good way. He is growing. Our relationship is changing. My heart is breaking open. I am growing with him and growth, hurts.
Feelings are coming up. That doesn't mean it's over. It just means that we add to our already wonderful relationship and life. We add to it.
More experiences. More growth. More connection in a new way.
Some things are still the same. Some things are new.
We get to know each other again. I get to know him and with him growing he does learn about my boundaries, likes and dislikes, too.
It is a two way street. Thank goodness there are plenty of tools to learn to connect with your kids and build a happy relationship with them no matter where you are WITHOUT violence, threats, fear or control.
One of them is to set a timer and play with your child what ever it wants. No matter what. It is in charge for the entire time. No distracrions such as phone, appointments, planning, etc. Full presence and connection.
Of course the time can vary. I trust you understand the idea.
This soothes your children and creates connection between you two.
You can do this with serveral kids at a time or one on one time if possible. Get creative 🙏
👨👩👦👦Keep an eye out for my free video tomorrow where I explain how to open your child's eyes and yours towards each others behaviour in a playful way that will last in a positive shift within both of you for a harmonious life together. 🙏
Much love,
Christin
