Here's my latest bit of AI art. It was seeded with this original oil painting and the words, "Emotions below the surface playing mysterious games." For this one, I stopped the AI at 40%, since the image kind of fell apart after that. The end result is weird but has a certain appeal.
Today wasn't great. In dreams, first I was flying in the open nose cone of a small airplane, feeling in danger of falling out. After landing safely, my stalker ex showed up and started berating me. We broke up in 2008 and haven't seen each other in over a decade, but lately she's been appearing in dreams to give me a hard time. She's the kind of person who lies constantly without realizing it and starts fights with everyone. She seriously screwed up my life at one point. And yet, part of me still feels a little guilty for cutting off all contact. So I'm afraid of her and I feel bad for her. Maybe these dreams will resolve some of that.
When I woke, it was way too early and I couldn't get back to sleep. Outside, the weather was hot and humid and gross. The coffee shop was fine but uneventful. On my walk there, I saw a great butterfly, which helped.
The rest of my day was spent listening to Nina Chuba and playing around with the idea of life purposes. I've never been one of those people who struggles to feel like my life has purpose. My purpose has always felt clear, at least in a general sense. And when I stray from this purpose, the universe has always been happy to show me the error of my ways.
I recently watched a couple of TED talks on life purposes and wasn't too impressed. It seemed like the talks were targeting audience members looking for reassurance that what they were doing with their lives was good and right. Perhaps some were looking for a rationale to support a change that they were thinking of making.
Although I found them unenlightening, these videos were a good reminder that there are people out there who struggle to feel a sense of purpose. A lot of people, if viewership stats are accurate. I suspect these these people are already unwittingly living their life purposes. How could they not be?
In yesterday's post, I discussed self-transcendent experiences, where you simultaneously quiet the self and connect with something larger. These experiences can happen through work or through meditation or in a variety of other circumstances. They naturally give rise to an understanding of purpose.
My theory is that modern society conspires to prevent its constituents from becoming aware of their own higher truths. I imagine that these truths, if unleashed, could reshape the world in the best of ways. What that might actually look like is an open question. But I'd like to see it.
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