While mother’s day has passed, this sunday we decided to bake a cake to celebrate it. Although I couldn’t eat the cake, I still helped her to learn to make one of her signature cakes.
Relating to what I quoted above, I always see my mom as a mom, it feels like a convenient truth and something I want to see more than her individuality and what she is capable of. There were moments in life when I forget that outside being a mother, she is a great individual capable of so many things.
Even in our family, we rarely see her individualism shine. She’s always a mother, a sister or just that woman. The line often gets blurred and sometimes we contribute in dampening her light, we doubt her ability and even judgment. Many times, we take her for granted too.
Behind all that, she was a financial manager in an international company. It still astounds me that she had that role when she was younger and no wonder she always manages money better than many of us. To also think she was good with computer was also a surprising fact for me😄 Then overtime, she takes up roles as entrepreneur, baker, and store clerk. Just like roll cake that has many layers, she led her life like that.
Despite all that, for us, it’s still more convenient to see her as a mom, sister or that woman. Even more so when my mom has that vibe when you see her, you just want to help her. You feel pity and think she’s weak. I always find it amusing too because I wonder, what are people pitying her about? She’s not weak either, she’s one of the strongest people I know, both physically and mentally.
Maybe that’s why roll cake is her signature and what she’s best at. She feels happier when she bakes it because it represents her. The layers are like her life, hidden on top of each other but complementing one another.
For us, who gets the chance to eat it, we think that it's just a delicious cake, a classic roll cake made with love by our aunt, a sister or just that woman.
We think that food is delicious because it’s made with love. But when actually, this is the food she’s proud of because of long experiments, research through failure and successes . She made it thinking she’s not a mother but a good baker who wants her customer to get the best bite of a classic roll cake.
Through her, I wonder if one day I’ll be a mom, all the things I did or know won’t matter and get dismissed. My family would just see me as a mom, no more no less because it was more convenient to see me that way than all the things I did.
Sometimes she forgets what she’s capable of and loses sight of her individuality. She becomes frightened of the world and doubts her abilities. As a daughter, there are times when I did a bad job reminding her that she’s capable of many things.
And when I do, I make sure she has that confidence to actually do things, to keep up with times, to learn something new and to show that just a mom, but a person with capabilities who can be as productive as even myself or the younger generation.
Being all that I have, I am taking this moment to not only remind myself but others to remind ourselves that a mother has many capabilities that often go unnoticed. We often reduce their personality by just calling them a mother, that woman or that aunt. It may be a convenient thing to see but there are layers to them, worth cherishing for and just like the roll cake, each layer is worth savoring too as they have different flavors to it.
| Mac covers technology, philosophy, books, productivity, minimalist lifestyle, cybersecurity, coffee, and languages in no particular order. In her free time, she enjoys learning various things that would be too long to name in this tiny box. |
