I was sucked into it, that made me want so many things all at once. To me, getting into the lifestyle and culture was more about coping. I liked the lifestyle where everyone seems to be productive, leaves no room for bullshit, and maximizes time for doing quality activities. These were nice distractions to my personal stuff in my life that was going on at the time. My life was all about work, work, and finding more opportunities which resulted in shrugging off everything that needed immediate attention. Eventually, at some point, it got way too overwhelming and I had to face it.
This is my nighttime journal/monkey mind that I will let you look into. Perhaps, if you resonate, you can comment and if not, that’s okay too.
When I thought my life seemed to go in the right direction and I had so many things going on at the same time, everything crumbled. It eventually led to a burnout version of myself. Though I was still active around steemit/hive, writing on the blockchain, I went pretty much missing. I left the world that I used to know, deleted all my socials, not contacting any of my friends, colleagues, and basically cut off any form of communication. I became someone new, someone who was dejected, tired, and got sick of the bullshit of hustle culture and human interaction. Not going to lie, one time, going to a bookstore filled with advice on how to have a better life disgusted me. I felt like my brain was about to vomit after consuming countless books on how to be a better person, how to network, make friends, and so-on.
Eventually, I no longer have any routine. I ditched everything that I used to know and learned. I no longer spend my time wisely. It only got worse when I started sleeping in the morning, poor food choices, sedentary lifestyle, and eventually sickness followed. So, from someone who spends time learning so many languages, working, actively finding freelancing projects to someone who just does the bare minimum to survive.
These days, I’ve been ruminating about my routine and how the hustle culture helped shape some of it; as parts of me want to be an orderly person again. The culture is pretty simple, it all revolves around mainly work. Some might include exercise and you improve yourself but it really is mostly work. It all seemed good until you kinda got obsessed with it. My obsession with making it perfect was wrong. I tried copying others while not recognizing that my life is different. I didn’t recognize those until recently. I had my own limitations, a different environment, and so-on that I should consider before comparing myself to those people.
One part that I probably feel sorry for is that relationship I burned just because I chose work over my friendship. I had a little time for friendship and human interaction at some point in life. When I was traveling around, I sure met many people but they are just acquaintances. While looking for a wider network, I lost some of my closest friends.
Just when you thought that hustle culture can fix yourself, it wasn’t the case for me. It was more about work, and work than a balance. That was something I did wrong with all these. Despite all the workout, my sleep was really bad. And when I got burnt out, I quitted it all and so was choosing a poor diet over a good one. But these days, I have found sports that I like and I am slowly recovering from the illness that has been plaguing my life for 2-3 years.
Stress was there. Whenever I get sucked into the hustle version of myself, my stress level is increasing.These days, I found some ways to minimize it and just stop chasing perfection because that’s where the root of my stress lies. Not to mention, I don't put too much into my plate like I used to.
Hustle culture has its positives but also the negatives that I think could be toxic. Balance is really key but attaining that isn't easy either.
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| Mac is a jack of all trades. A typical introvert in love with literature, books, technology and philosophy. She is also so into nootropics, productivity, minimalist lifestyle, cybersecurity, and languages. Other than that, she is passionate about cooking and traveling. In her free time, she enjoys learning various things. If you like her content, don't hesitate to upvote, leave a comment or a feedback. A re-blog is also appreciated. |
