There was no entry written on 22-24 December 2018 but to fill the gap, today I will be sharing my thoughts on fulfillment. The feeling of having enough and contentedness. I would like to address this topic because I have seen many people my age are in depression or having mental distress. They seem to be consistently seeking fulfillment.
I wrote this simple sentence on my notebook,
I feel fulfilled when...
So, I filled that sentence with a roof above my head, food enough to keep me from starvation and work that contributes something to the society. I recalled the days when I lived in abundance yet I wasn’t fulfilled. I still wanted more. My greed leads to disaster. Had I not went to the destruction path, I would have enough to keep me well fed for another 4 years, roofs for another 5 years, and more capital for my business. Shortly, I went from severely depressed to reaching the peak of my depression.
Only recently, I learned to manage my wants, to stop keeping with the Joneses and allow myself to not soak up into the material world. On the contrary, I like capitalism and the free market. I like working and make money but I always strive to do it as ethical as possible.
Now, I understand why some of my friends are never satisfied nor content. Why some of them are depressed, anxious, stressed, and worried despite having things they want. Yes, money is the thing they want yet they already have it. Only, their habit of keeping with the Joneses prevent them to feel enough nor count their blessings.
I had an ex-boyfriend who loved money and material possession. It was very difficult to tell him to stop buying things. I couldn’t say anything since he was working to buy those stuff. So, I was only able to watch him every time there was something new in the market.
These days, I always try counting my blessings. I have eyes, functional hands, and legs, working (but rather rusty)brain. I still have those to help me lead a normal life. Besides, keeping with the Joneses will only hinder us from achieving our own goal. Hence, I advise you to stop looking at others.
Count your blessing and find what makes you feel fulfilled. Live life with purpose, without regret, and with minimal stress.
Signed, M
