How many times have you heard the term, better half? How many times have you witnessed a couple introducing one another and the gentleman defers to his wife as the better half? How many times have you watched this scene play out and felt in your gut something was off?
About 2 months ago, a dear friend and I decided to become co-owners in a company. We had been working on an investment company for a year or so with most of the work being on my end and all the rewards going to my coffers. It became apparent after roughly 10 months that our idea was bigger than I could handle on my own, and we decided to be co-owners and each have 50% of the company. As we did so and talked through all the parameters of what that meant, the realization of how much I dislike the term better half became crystal clear to me - none of us are made to become half of what we used to be in relationships.
What do I mean by that? It has intrigued me since a young age how we are whole persons as we enter young adult stage. We earn our living as we leave mothers and fathers to make our way in life. We are free so to speak to live, and love, and make the most of the time allotted to us. How is it that once we partner up with another whole person we suddenly become 50% of our original self?
It boggles my mind that in the one institution that is designed to make two people more full, and more whole than they could ever be on their own, we use a term that cuts us in half as we become one with another body and soul.
The term has its uses and I understand the intent. However, as with all words, what we say matters, and I cannot help but think that better half can become a subconscious acceptance of a lie that we have settled for less.
What adventure is greater than coupling ourselves to another human being and seeing what lies in the depth of our soul? What grandeur is left untapped when we embody half of our true selves via a false humility as a better half?
I for one do not use that term on myself or towards my lovely bride. In my belief, Christianity, we are 100% whole and pure images of Almighty God. Each of us individually is a beautiful Imago Dei destined and designed for great things. Why would I hamper the brilliance that comes from this brilliant representation by saying I am suddenly less than whole while I say I do?
It may be silliness, and I may be overreacting. Yet, when I watch one partner settle while the other succeeds I am reminded that service for service sake is a false humility. We were never meant to be rugs to be walked upon. We are called to serve, and we are called to give with a cheerful heart. We are never called to damper the glory that eternally fires in our belly.
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