Beats me, but he sure likes to whine like one! It must be hard to be the bazillionaire leader of the most powerful government in the galaxy, but he still cries about fake news?!?

This is fake news and is clearly the work of the dark side! I have responded here.

@bonniepiesse don't bother with that guy. He's a wampa's ass.

That was a dark time in my life. I don't like to talk about it

Eddie the Eagle had more athletic ability in his right pinky toe than my father will ever have.

This post was bought and paid for by the Russians! Propaganda and media manipulation!

AS. IF. DAD! This is totally bogus. You're just using the press from this to distract from whatever crazy scheme you've completely botched this week!

Welcome to the light side

You thought your New Year was good? I got to party with these guys! Yep, Jimmy, Frank, George, and Pickles sure know how to throw a rager.

Ahhhh! Est-ce que tu parles français? Je suis le meilleur Jedi!

I once had a girlfriend named Vix. She was a real fireball in the bedroom!

I'm just going to look past this awful post and remind myself what a great Christmas we had this year!

I do have my own line. I call it Chez Handsome

I noticed that you put Empire Strikes Back is your #1, surely that was a typo, right?

I'll try to wade through the grammatical errors and logical fallacies, but I already know what you're trying to tell me: I love you, son, come home.

I see what you did there, but I would never poke a bear, because I love all furry creatures. Way more than dad, and even better.

He's too busy trying to distract the media by putting his son on the chopping block!

My super flowy hair wouldn't even fit in his nasty sweaty helmet