….Just as Kevin was dealing with his spontaneous, and totally unexpected attack of intense flatulence , far away on the other side of the world, Hubba Bubba was thinking about all the people that she’d killed.
All in self defense , of course.
'It's a dangerous world out there', she told herself.
There were now 271 dangerous people who were 'no longer a threat, solely because of her.
She didn’t feel bad about any of the shootings as she was only protecting herself, but just of late, a whispering voice of doubt had crept into her mind, uninvited.
… this voice asked her if whether or not all of those shootings were really, truly, justified.
She'd never been convicted of any unlawful killings - of murdering those 271 people , but just recently , she’d started to think that it might have more to do with the local sheriff having the hots for her very badly, and the local judge who occasionally shared her bed.
Self defense?
Yes.
Murder ? That never happened.
How could it? She’d been exonerated every single time.
'It was self defense', She told herself.... Again.
She also knew that this naive perspective of 'law, order and justice' was an image, a mirage, a memory of some halcyon days long gone by – if they’d ever really existed at all.
She decided to go through a checklist list of the last ten shootings.
The first five on the list were simple.
They were all classic cases, 'black and white' cases of self defense.
The five men were aged between the ages of 29 and 47 had , on five separate occasions, assaulted her.
Her property was an extension of her person of course - so just by walking up her garden path without any prior warning, or with any permission given by her for them do so, she'd - automatically - suffered an assault.
And each of them were carrying concealed weapons. ...kind of.
'Long stemmed roses in a box can hide many different types of lethal weapons' The policeman told her, and she ‘was well within her rights, to blow their heads clean off'.
He’d then gone on to ask her out on a date for later on in the week.
Happy to have dealt with the first five men on the list , Hubba Bubba now turned to the next man.
Number six… 'Oh dear...number six', She thought to herself...