I see the denotation of a new month, the first day in April. The image seem like a kind of metallic calendar as well.
I feel nonchalant and not ready, the very same way I felt on the first day of this month.
To be honest, April caught me completely unaware. I don’t know how but I completely forgot there were only 30 days in March and as such, I was completely unprepared for the month.
I know, that is such a lame excuse because of course, I knew we were closing in on a new month.
Perhaps it’s the month or just me and the uninvited guest called malaria that came knocking on my doors few days to the ending of march, I don’t know. What I do know though is how unprepared I am for this month of April.
To me, it feels like time just keeps going while I keep waiting for that perfect moment. Why? What for? I have no idea, but will I know when I see it? Yes. Will I know what to do when the perfect time comes, yes.
So, for now, I guess I’ll just keep spacing out while time keeps moving without care for anything or anyone.
If I’m being honest, I really want April to end, it’s not particular a favorite month.
I have this believe that the mood with which you start a month will determine how you feel till the end of the month and look at it, it's manifesting for me.
I started this month in a totally, "I'm not ready" pattern, and truly, I don't feel ready. Everyday, I wake up and ask myself, "is it May 1st yet?"
Not that there's anything waiting for me in May, lol. Just any excuse to get out of April.
Freewriting
