Kind girl

I know now
the kind of girl you want
you want someone dressed in pink
pretty polite bow on the edges of her cheeks
you want a girl who does not question
the law of your thought
you don't want a girl
who asks you to show proof
who says she must be convinced
before she begins to inherit your culture
you want a girl who does not challenge you
who is not flexing herself
muscle in your throat.
you must know
you have to rip open a jaw
to swallow pride like mine
so when i tell you
i swallowed my pride for you
it means i could not take it down with water
it means i had to watch myself squat down
the pipe of my solid throat.
i know now,
the kind of woman you want
you want a yes sir girl
who reminds you of your mother
who reminds you of your father
who reminds you that women can bend their bodies
in half like paper currency.
that women can be something you spend
anything but time on.
you want a girl who is dressed in that skin
that smells of pine and laundry
that has an oven between her thighs
that bakes cookies and children for you
that comes dressed as an audition
asking if she is good enough
worthy enough to be yours
you don't want me
you don't want the girl that comes
holding a mirror
baring your reflection