How to raise a girl child as a mother. What they don't tell you.

Dear mothers, come closer because we get gist.
Raising a girl child is not about buying pink dresses and plaiting fine hair.

It is about raising a woman who will one day stand alone in a room full of men and still know her worth.

I am a father of girls, and I am still learning. But here is what life has taught me so far.

• Teach her that beauty is not her only power.
  The world will already tell your daughter every day that her value is in her body, her face, her shape.

If you as a parent also only praise her when she looks fine, you have finished her.

Yes, tell her you are beautiful but also tell her you are intelligent, you are brave, you are a leader, you are more than what they see.

I tell my daughter every morning before school that you are not just pretty, you are powerful and strong.
Because one day makeup will fade, but her brain must still speak for her.

• Don't raise her to fear men but raise her to understand men.
  Some mothers raise girls to be scared, don't talk to men, men are wicked, all men are the same.
  That's how you raise a fearful wife who cannot even communicate with her own husband.
  I teach my daughter that men are not gods, and they are not devils, men are humans. Respect them, but never worship them. Love them, but never lose yourself inside them.

Teach her to look a man in the eye and say no without shaking. That one lesson will save her more than many years of warning.

• Give her a voice inside the house.
  If a girl child cannot speak freely in her father's house, she will never speak freely in her husband's house.
  Many of us as African parents shut our girls up shut up and say are you not a girl? Go and kneel down.

We kill their confidence with our own hands, then we pray for them to be confident.
In my house, I have a rule, when my daughter is talking, I listen. Even if she is wrong, I let her finish. Then I correct her.

I want her to know that her voice matters. Don't whisper your opinions. Say it with your chest.

• Teach her money early before boys come
  The biggest trap that swallows many girls is not love. It is lack.
  A girl who has zero idea about money will believe any boy who buys her shawarma is her saviour.
  As a parent, I started teaching my daughter about how to many her own money. She helps me count my money. She knows how to save in her small box. She knows how to say, mummy, this one is profit, this one is capital.

I am not raising her to be a millionaire only. I am raising her so that no man will ever use money to buy her dignity.

A financially aware girl child is a sexually safe girl child.

• Be the woman you want her to become
  This is the hardest one.
  You cannot teach your daughter self-respect when you insult yourself in front of your husband.
  You cannot teach her to be prayerful when you only pray when there is problem.
  You cannot teach her to read books when you are always pressing phone from morning till night.

Your daughter is not listening to your mouth. She is watching your life.
If you want her to be strong, let her see you strong.
If you want her to be decent, let her see you decent.
If you want her to be God-fearing, let her see you on your knees.

The best curriculum for a girl child is her mother's lifestyle.

• Finally, build her driendship and not just motherhood
  Many African mothers are police officers to their daughters. Always investigating, always shouting, always suspecting.
  Your daughter will then learn to hide everything from you and tell strangers on social media.
  I decided to be my daughter's first best friend. She tells me the boy that toasted her in school. She tells me the girl that made her sad. Because she knows I will not first shout, I will first listen.

If you want to know the secret of your daughter's life, you must win her heart, not just rule her life.

My prayer daily.
God, help me not to raise a girl who the world will break. Help me raise a woman who will heal the world.

To every parents raising a girl child in this crazy generation, you are not just raising a child. You are raising somebody's wife, somebody's mother, somebody's CEO, somebody's president.

Do it well.

Mothers, what is one thing your own mother taught you that is helping you raise your daughter today?
Let's share wisdom in the comments.