Forgiveness is a difficult thing for us as humans, and that's because we are so used to pain and suffering such that forgetting a hurt or offense is even more difficult. Personally, I think there is no forgiveness without forgetting. Because as long as your memory keeps records of the unresolved trauma of that hurt it would be hypocritical to say you've forgiven.
But then, forgiveness is easy if the person from whom the offense or hurt is coming from is a stranger or someone who isn't that close. But when it is a close relative or trusted friend, the injury hurts differently and deeper.
Honestly, I don't know why. But just as Brother Eli has said, there is indeed a spirit responsible for it, and that spirit is not of God. Satan wants us to hold on to those haunting memories of offenses so that we might get stuck in bitterness and pain. We become unfruitful as a result.
However, as God who has a “perfect and infinite memory” has such a gracious disposition for sinners and the unrighteous, promising to “remember their sins no more” so also should our attitude be if truly we are the children of God, and He is our father. In His Kingdom Love is our culture. Just like Bro Eli mentioned, a lack of love causes one to hold on to resentment and live in malice.
This is what the Bible says concerning love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-5
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud
or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.
I find it truly amazing how the Holy Spirit teaches us through the Bible. God knows our weaknesses, especially in the area of relationships. Offenses comes from time to time but a true child of God must learn to be like His Father in character.
It is not easy for us, I admit. I have had a situation where it took me almost four years to forgive my aunt for what she did to me. It was when I realized that it was my unwillingness to forget what she did that kept me from forgiving her, even though she didn't apologize. I have also learned that forgiving and forgetting would be much easier, coupled with the help of the Holy Spirit if we can be honest about our emotions and talk about it. Bottling up hurt and pain without expressing it will keep us bound in bitterness. We must learn to let it go.
If God can forget people's sins…
Why can't we?
