Attracting attention even after death

This is the stage where everything is trial and error; where we feel that everything revolves around us believing we are the Astro King; defying Copernicus' discovery in 1543 but thank God we matured and stopped being so delusional. It was starting in college when I had a long distance boyfriend who was much older than me, we nurtured our "love" by texting and calling each other before and after we met in person. At the time there was no such thing as WhatsApp, we only had email and messenger.

Eventually we would see each other, I would make an effort to visit him because he lived in another city close to mine. My mom had no knowledge at first, only my friends knew. I remember that one of them told me that it was the same distance between the two of us, so he should be the one who always moved and I should not, I was almost going to repeat a subject for neglecting my studies for him.

As the wise popular saying in my country goes: "Amor de lejos amor de pendejos" (love from afar, love of assholes) and this is so true. He stopped writing me little by little and did not answer my calls; previously, he had notified me that he was going to be in another city for a temporary job so he justified his distance. Until I went to visit him unannounced and he was not there, coincidentally. His mom attended me and her treatment was extremely distant, when previously she was the opposite with me. Still shocked at how the lady treated me, I called him and he asked me why I hadn't given him advance notice. I forced him to tell me the truth about what was going on, but he refused to admit that everything was different; at that very moment I broke up with him.

Some time before he had given me a phone and I told him to go get it and other things because I didn't want to know anything more about him; a few days later he sent him to look for it with a nephew, he didn't even have the courage to go get it and face me. All this made me very depressed, so much so that being already quite thin I lost a lot of weight, I had no clothes left (I wish this would happen to me right now to lose weight 🤭).

As all spite, was overcome and I found out at the time that he had left me for another, at the moment I was furious and I could only think of giving him a hard time; as he now had the cell phone that once belonged to me, I wanted to get his attention, I sent him a message from another number saying: -I am very sorry for the death of Liseth, God rest her soul; there are no words of consolation. After doing this, I went to the university; after a while he called my house to confirm if the information was true. What I did not think was that my mom was going to get a scare but luckily she took it relaxed and simply and told him that it was not true, to which he replied: how was it possible that they could lend themselves to a joke of such magnitude? that he had gone into crisis. My mother told me everything and I explained to him why I had done it, apart from calling his attention, it was to make him feel bad, if he had any remorse.

Sometimes I start thinking and I say to God, how did I give so much importance to that, I really don't know what was going through my mind?