To tell you the truth, I fell in love with this girl seemingly and silently beyond words. Are there too many adverbs? I do not care. When I moved from a desolate wasteland to a seemingly tame but actually more desolate land, I tried to fully integrate. I moved to a larger university nearby. It's a story I've told to everyone who watches me often. Before the fall semester started, I auditioned for a play. I now believe that what the blond singer was talking about was my destiny, my invisible threads.
Of course it's a sociology class. All I ever thought about when I got the small ensemble role in this play was how it turned me into some kind of stupid, pathetic ethnographer. It did a lot. Because I met various people during rehearsals, studied, and reflected peacefully. I learned that there is no hierarchy between people, only categorization. Maybe I didn't learn this, but created it myself. I saw her at an audition. I can't remember what I was wearing, but he was wearing a small tank top and jean shorts.He was wearing buns. He wore Vans all the time until winter came, but hey wait a minute. While waiting for my audition, I noticed a purple velvet pouch placed on one of her red stools in the hallway. I was fascinated by some metal pins. One was carrying a lesbian flag, which looked like a frog child's interpretation of what was attached. Maybe on the cover of a book by an author I once tried to love. Maybe someone with a heart. Of course the bag belonged to her. I've seen the bag, I've seen him carry it, and it makes perfect sense.
He waited with me that night and told me about his half-sister.A few months later she told me the story of cancer. More text for irrelevant apps. But that was her reality then, is that her reality now? Will such an illness leave you? I told her about my hunger in a throwaway joke. She caught it and brought it back to me. Who didn't? After all, we were both girls and both lived in America. Alive and rubbing against him. How much I loved him then, how much I love writing about him now without announcing it.
