~ Dependency and choice ~

Greetings pupil. It is quite late night over here but I am unable to sleep. Most probably my neighbors are deep asleep.

Here I was trying to make my way making my lids heavy so to fall deep into sleep but I was failing miserably. It was a useless attempt, undeniably. The night seemed too long and I felt suffocative. I am free yet the feeling of dependency engulfed me too occasionally, alike tonight.

Life is too hazy at such instance that it becomes heavy for my mind to pull the trigger to move constantly with a purpose. I am free but am I actually? Recently one incident overlaps my vision too often, it might play as the trigger in making me feel uncertain, but I am not so sure.

Sara looks for advices and actually never makes decisions on her own but she calls it her own choice. I was devastated when I heard that she is planning her own runaway because she will not be able to choose the man she will get to marry but she is planning to runaway. The entire concept of running away is one that I do not support, and adding to that it is not like she wants to runaway and marry. She just wants a way out of all this suffocation but she is unable to mark her words.

This got me taken away. We are alive but we cannot apply it. We make decisions of our choices but we do not apply them. We are there to speak but not there to make actions. It is not living actually. We call ourselves free but are we free is still a big contradictory question. Ironically my mouth is locked and it is not because I am not free but because I am free but I have no say in this. It is her life and all I can do is give her my wise thoughts but she is the final decision maker.

Well, she is not the final decision maker in every scenario but when I am the on having a conversation with her, she is the sole owner of her life for that moment. Even now, as she is planning to run away she is taking the decisions all by herself. It is true that she does like a guy but she is not running away for him, instead she talked about the guy to her family and with a very decent tone she claims. Also, it was useless as her family did not particularly like him. They have their reasons and not all of it is useless. I did think about it and they make sense but they are missing one point and that is as the girl is committed to another guy she will never be able to adjust with a new one and if they force it on her, it is actually a crime and the new guy will be compromised.

It is also true that people change and as time changes maybe the present guy will leave Sara or the otherwise can happen. What remains is the present and how both of them are planning to sort things out with considering thoughts about their future. If they are just playing around, Sara should keep in mind if so why she is choosing to leave. I could not have a long conversation with her but from the looks of it, she is not running away because of the guy but because she does not want to get married now. Her family wants her to get married now and if she gets married she is planning to marry the guy she likes and both of them have no problem getting married but they want to settle first.

So everyone is behind some sort of goal which is not a bad thing but the whole running away thing is unsettling. Above I have used the name "Sara" it is a fake name. My friend Sara is too much engrossed when it comes to making decisions and takes others advice over her own at times and this girl at this moment of her life is taking a decision by herself and calling it her choice. Dependency and choice is words of manipulation and can so easily fluctuate. If you do not observe it at first hand, it is difficult for you to agree or accept my words. I myself was among you until I was aware of her runaway plan.

This is my fourteenth post in HIVE. I hope to connect well with everyone. This is me here, Lemonade1, I am a bookworm, meaning I love reading books more than anything. It is my first priority and also my last. Besides everything else, I love traveling and I aim to create my travel diary here.