I write this post as I am facing a day that I am terrified of accomplishing.
You know what I realized as I am sitting here 5 hours away from this terrifying doctor's appointment that I physically have no idea how I will manage? I realized that there is no "secret" to accomplishing something we are afraid of doing. We need to just decide we are doing it and do it. Regardless of how capable we feel of completing it.
Okay, to be clear I am not saying that if you have a huge speech today in college and you never wrote it or studied the topic at hand and instead smoked pot all day you should do it anyway. But if you wrote a speech, know your topic, yet are terrified to speak you CAN do it anyway. I know, I did and I have crippling social anxiety. In college I had to give several speeches and presentations in front of my classmates. I didn't feel capable at the last minute I just dragged my shaking, red body up to the podium or projector or whatever and opened up with some self-depreciating line that made everyone laugh like:
"Hey, I have extreme fear of speaking publicly and people in general and may end up vomiting and pissing myself right here in front of you before this is over."
everyone laughs
"Seriously though, that wasn't even a joke..."
everyone laughs more
It broke the ice. The point is, I was still afraid just like I am afraid now. Do I plan on bailing though? No. I don't care how hard it is to overcome everything against me physically and mentally to complete this fucking terrifying day. I will do it. Just thought about all I have to do and got terrified but still doing it.
Don't psych yourself out thinking of every step all at once.
Like I just did...
"How will I order this cab in time and if I have to call in advance then how do I know when to be picked up and what if it somehow costs even more than the $100 I put aside and OMG MY SOCIAL ANXIETY AND AGORAPHOBIA I AM SHAKING JUST THINKING ABOUT IT and the pain in my bladder and the constant peeing how will I get through the appointment and the pain of this doctor opening me up and OH MY GLOB it's a male doctor and I have to get my clothes ready and I have to clean out my water jug and I have to drink water right now and...."
Yeah...DON'T do that. See it is much easier to just focus on one thing at a time. Then, that scary mess you see above becomes "Get on clothes and sip on water" because that is ALL I have to do RIGHT NOW. It turns that terrifying mental dialogue into I CAN do and every small step will be something I can do until I am back home filled with relief and playing Skyrim.