There is something that's actually happening right now and I do not think enough people are talking about the issue of free speech, which ironically is exactly the problem
Somewhere along the line, the world decided that the worst thing a person could do, is to offend someone, not by hurting them, not actually harm them in a way, just offend them by say the wrong thing and suddenly the person is a problem
People are writing about them, and the person is saying sorry for things they said with a clean heart, well the issue of free speech has gotten to the point where people now think about their opinions in their heads three times before saying them out loud, and not because the opinion is wrong but because they are thinking about how many people might find it uncomfortable that is not being careful that is being afraid and being afraid is still being afraid even if you call it being considerate
I understand where this comes from I really do, for a time a lot of people used "I'm just being honest" as an excuse for being mean "I'm just saying what nobody else will say" was often a way of saying something terrible and not getting in trouble for it the issue of free speech was not being respected, so people pushed back and that made sense not every opinion deserves to be heard and not every thought needs to be said loud about the issue of free speech.
But then something shifted, the pushback stopped being about cruelty and started being about discomfort, and those are not the same thing, cruelty is when you say something specifically to wound somebody, discomfort is when you say something true that somebody does not want to hear, we started treating both the same way, and that is where the whole thing fell apart.
Because now what happens is this somebody has a genuine observation, something real, something that could actually start a useful conversation, but they have seen what happens when people speak, they have watched somebody get torn apart online for a badly worded sentence, they have seen careers shaken and friendships ended over opinions that, three years ago, would have just been a conversation, so they say nothing, they keep it in the group chat, they send a voice note to their one friend who will not report them and they both agree and then they both stay quiet in public ,the opinion dies there, whatever conversation could have happened, whatever shift in thinking, whatever solution buried.
That to me is the actual damage, not that people get offended people have always gotten offended, that is just human but that the fear of offense is now deciding what gets said and what doesn't, that is not a culture of sensitivity, that is a culture of silence with better branding.
I think there is a better way and it is not complicated, It just requires two things that are apparently both very difficult right now , intent and accountability, say what you have to say, mean what you mean, and if you get it wrong in the delivery, own that and correct it, that is it, that is the whole thing, you are not required to be perfect , you are required to be honest and to care about the effect of your words without being so paralysed by the possibility of getting it wrong that you say nothing at all.
Because here is the truth, if something needs to be said, if it can actually help, if it can open something up that has been closed too long, let it out, say it, deal with whatever comes, and move forward, a word buried to keep the peace has never helped anyone, it just keeps the peace for a little while, and then the thing that needed saying finds a worse way to come out.
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