Family for me are people related by blood or even adoption. This topic is one that is complicated. I have seen movies with this topic as its storyline, and it's always very emotional. Adoption to me is not what someone should be looked down on.
The term biological parents is one that does not really apply to me. Biological parents can be in a child's life, but the child would still look like an orphan. Parenthood goes beyond giving birth to a child. It entails carrying out one's responsibility. Parents to me are not tied to blood. If a couple adopts a child and is fully responsible for the child's welfare, then they can be regarded as parents.
We have to do away with this attitude of making an adopted child feel less. It takes love for one to adopt a child and take full responsibility for the child. It's time we look at ourselves; are we truly fair to these adopted kids? It is not their fault that they find themselves in such a situation. I know some were abandoned by their parents, some are victims of war, and some are victims of abuse. No matter the circumstance that led to their adoption, they are humans, and the same red blood that flows in our veins also flows in them.
I wake up one day and I find my adoption documents. It is going to be an emotional rollercoaster for me. No matter how long I have been with my adopted parents, there would be a feeling of disappointment and sadness. I will not ask them any questions about the adoption papers. I would just go to my room and try to take some time and take in the shock of the revelation. Going to meet them immediately will not really work for me, as I will still be clouded by emotions.
The next thing I will do is talk to a friend or someone I know won't judge me. At this point, I would need a shoulder to lean on. At this point, I know I will be weak and totally exhausted.
After I have gotten my emotions together. I will respectfully call for a meeting with my adopted parents. The first thing I would do is to appreciate them for their love and care. Then I will hand them to documents I just discovered. All I would want to know is the circumstances that led to my adoption. I would not want to hurt my adopted parents or condemn my biological parents.
I will try to find out about my biological parents. Two circumstances would make me very sad: if my biological parents abandoned me due to a lack of finances or if I was given away in exchange for financial assistance. Knowing the true story or events that led to my adoption would help in providing closure.
I would still let my foster parents know that searching for or wanting to know more about my biological parents does not mean I don't see them as my parents.
I know it's easier said than done—this type of revelation and damage one for a long time. I would try to seek help from a counselor, who I believe will help me in the healing process.
Family is more than blood relations.
