Growing up in Africa especially Nigeria, I will say one of the reasons poverty is rampant is because of the liability placed on the children, especially the firstborn and in most cases the first sons. There are also cases of the pressure being mounted upon the most successful child in the family making it as though it is their responsibility to shoulder the burden of the whole family. I have experienced this in all aspects and am still experiencing it, but I do not like the idea of parents raising kids halfway with the idea that their children will take care of them in future. This expectation has crippled the finances of a lot of youths making it hard for them to rise.
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Although there's a place of responsibility, for the child and there's a place for responsibility for the parents. I'm of the opinion that both parents and children should know their responsibilities and not try to guilt trip the other party to think they are being wicked when they do not perform as expected. I know my responsibility as a child, and the responsibility of every member of the family is to look out for the family. But then the responsibility of parents is to take care of their kids, but if the parents for one reason or another other can not fully provide, then the family should come together and figure out a way to truly survive.
I feel the idea here is to survive, but instead, a lot of people are posting on one person in a bid to survive which is not right. Imagine a fresh graduate who just started working earning 100,000 naira as a salary which with the current economic situation is barely enough to cover monthly feeding, accommodation, transportation and utility now has to bear the burden of taking care of father, mother, and seven siblings all because he was sent to school by sacrifices from the family. This is not me undermining those sacrifices, rather I'm prompted to ask, whose responsibility is it to sacrifice for the education of a child if not the parent…
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At a point in my life, my family was on my neck even while I was struggling with school. I knew if I continued to give in to the pressure, it wouldn't be long before I broke, so I decided to stop giving in for a while and allow my family to figure something out. The reason I stopped giving was because I could barely meet my personal needs and bearing a family's responsibility was draining me. Out of necessity, I decided to do what was right for all of us because it wouldn't do them any good if I broke down. Not giving for a while helped me find myself and later on started giving more than I usually give on occasion.
I hate it when people try to guilt trip me into thinking I'm doing bad in things like buying a shoe whereas my family is struggling. But in the real sense, I do not have a shoe, and I need a good shoe to look presentable when I pursue my career. So what would it profit them that I continue looking tattered because my family is poor? I would prefer I buy a good shoe, look good, meet opportunities, and earn enough to make my family look good. This process doesn't happen suddenly, if at all I want to help, I would prefer to carry a member of my family along so they too can gain experience and exposure to opportunities so we can all help the family in the long run.
