A Day of Reflection: Happy Birthday To Me

Birthdays are said to be a day of celebration but, for me, most birthdays are days to reflect on where I’ve been, and where I am heading.

A year ago on my birthday, I was so miserable; it wasn’t anything I could understand, just the usual depression and anxiety, and on that day, I kept asking myself why I couldn’t just be happy.

I could remember spending a lot of time in the bathroom because I was crying a lot and I didn’t want my family to worry because well, I would rather struggle alone.

Now looking back, I can’t imagine how things got that crazy and I am not here to say they are better but, they aren’t the same, sounds complicated right?

Well, most days it is, I have struggled a lot this past year and I am grateful that I am here today which might not have been possible if I didn’t keep fighting even when every part of me wanted to give up.

I made a promise to myself last year that I will keep smiling and dancing through 23 and it’s silly how many times I danced and cried immediately after.

I wouldn’t say I am the strongest person instead I would consider myself the opposite so, it is crazy that I am here today.

THANKFUL FOR HIVE

I will also say that one reason that I am here today is because of hive, I could remember deciding to come back to hive because I needed an outlet to share my thoughts; at that time I had a lot of them.

I came back not expecting much but, I received so much support from a lot of people to a point that when I was low, I would even get messages on discord.

I am not one to tag people but my mother always says “give thanks to whom thanks are needed” and so, I need to give thanks to a few people.

First to @dreemsteem, @samsmith1971 and @tengolotodo; being part of the dreemers and meeting you guys has been amazing and I am so thankful for that.

Secondly, to @wesphilbin, this whole community has made me more thankful, and I could remember getting a message from you on discord and balling my eyes after because I felt so much love.

Thirdly, to @mipiano, the q-inspired community has been so helpful for me to share a part of myself and my thoughts and I am so grateful for all your words of knowledge.

Finally, to all my friends here on hive that has brought me joy, laughter, wisdom and made me feel like I had a family here.

23 wasn’t the greatest but, I know that 24 will be way better and I am hopeful for it.

I hope you enjoy watching me mumble, act awkward, and clips of my awful dancing.