I always hear people say that if you love someone you should learn to accept their flaws and while this might seem like a piece of great advice, I don’t exactly support all parts of this.
Love is a beautiful phenomenon and as humans, we all crave love but it is also important to note that we aren’t perfect and we come with our own problems which might have been the reason for that advice but there is a bit of problem with it and I will tell you why I think so.
First of all, I love defining things because it brings more insights to the meaning of a word and a flaw can be defined as a fault or weakness in a person's character according to Lexico.
It is very normal to have flaws as humans but my problem with accepting all of your partner’s flaws comes from a mindset that springs from the belief that not all flaws should be accepted or condoned for long and there should be room for change.
Obviously, there are degrees to things we consider flaws based on each individual, and what might be a flaw or fault for one might not be for another, for example, a big flaw for me is someone who isn’t neat and I don’t think it is something I can ever condone but to my sister, she wouldn’t care so this is something to consider.
The major reason I don’t accept that phrase though is that I believe that accepting something means being okay with that particular thing and if I consider something a flaw in my partner I don’t think I would be okay with it, for example, my partner finds it hard to communicate and it is a big problem for us and my major flaw is my anger, we both love each other but we don’t accept these flaws and we are actively working to fix these parts of us because it might be a breaking point for us.
In my own opinion, I believe the phrase should be “condoning your partner’s flaw while they work on it” because I believe that there are certain changes that are necessary when you get into a relationship, and instead of hoping to be accepted, it is better to work on something you believe affects your partner which is what my type of love is.
I still do understand how appealing it is for someone to love you with all your flaws but I believe that changing for someone you love is more important except you don’t consider what your partner says as flaws which is a discussion for another day.
So what do you think about this topic? Do you support my view or not and why is that?
REFERENCE
Definition of flaw
Thank you for opening this box of passion
