By yesterday, I had dated 30 guys, among whom 29 are white and 1 is Asian. Over half of them are over 30 years old, one-third are 25-29 and one-third are younger than me. 2/5 of them went to Ivy League Schools+MIT+Stanford. Most of them have very good career and get well paid.
What I want to say is that through dating so many guys, I have learned what could be the icebreaker and what could make a girl happy and help a guy land a second date. I think it could be beneficial for both my female and male readers to make a right decision when they date people. Of course, I would like to hear about your experience and opinions as always.
How should I prepare for a date?
Ask the girl what she is interested in.
For example, if she is interested in spider-man and the movie happens to be on these days, then bringing her to the movie is a good way to make her happy and thus let her want to see you for another time. It is always good to ask directly and plan accordingly.
Be flexible when things get changed.
Be the one to initiate a meeting, otherwise you probably will never see her in person.
Show that you are willing to compromise.
For example, girl lives in town A and you lives in town B. You are 2 hours away from each other. It is fair to meet up in somewhere between you two, but you will surprisingly get bonus points if you offer to see her in town A. Because you give her much more time to do make-up and dress up and thus reduce the pressure and make her feel more confident when she sees you.
What should I do on a date?
BE ON TIME!
If a perfect score for a date is 100, then you can get bonus points of 10 if you arrive early and lose 99 points if you run late. When you run late, give an good excuse such as bad traffic or stuck with work or anything out of your control. Avoid something that you could control such as oversleeping.
Be confident/ be yourself
If you don't believe in yourself, who else will believe in you? Being confident is not bragging about how much money you make. It is something shown on your face and actions.
For example, you don't get upset when your date runs late because you know she is gonna come and meet you. And you won't ask her if you will get together again or whether you will get a second date, because you believe that she likes you.
If a girl runs late, just let her know that you are waiting, let her take her time and you sit down and get some water and wait patiently. I have dated some guys who don't dare to order anything before I arrive. They are worried that I would not show up and they will end up dating by themselves. I cannot help them if they are not confident. When I arrive early, I always do the things mentioned above and enjoy my time. I don't feel bad when I have food by myself in a restaurant. I enjoy being alone and I think enjoying being alone is important.
dress well
I am always impressed by the guys wearing suits. They look professional, confident and hot. It will never hurt you when you dress up. It might hurt you when you dress down with t-shirt and jeans. Dressing well shows you are serious about dating her. Attitude is all that a girl cares about.
Pay and tip well
Among so many dates, I only paid a few times. They never asked me to pay, but when I initiated to pay my part and they didn't say no, I chose to never see them again. Why? Because it is too much pressure! Think about it. Almost all the guys I dated are making much more money than I do. And I am dating aggressively. If I have to pay each time I date, I might go broke soon. Well, I'm kidding. But I do feel stressful when I have to pay for the date, especially if the guy is not so good. I would feel very bad if I have to pay to date a guy I don't like. A girl will be 200 times more likely to date you again if you don't let her have such worries or pressure. The other reason is that it shows your financial stability. Listen, before the girl marries you she is not gonna be able to touch your money unless you spend money on her. Therefore when you date, however rich you are has nothing to do with the girl. You brag about how successful you are but not willing to pay for a dinner or a movie? "Sorry and byebye."
Have stories
You should have some good stories that you want to tell to impress the girl. Like going to an interview, you expect certain questions to be asked thus you have certain answered you prepare to make a good impression. On a date, you have more flexibility so it's easier to manipulate the topics and conversation and you could easily bring out your stories. Believe me, those playboys who could easily land a lot of dates always have good stories to tell, good jokes to make people laugh and good smiles on their faces. How do I know? Because my dad is such a playboy and I see him do it ALL THE TIME.
Eye contact
Looking a girl in her eyes is a good way to convince her what you are saying is real. Don't look around as if you were looking for another beautiful girl to date. When you walk on the street and you see someone you know, unless the person see you and come to say hi, do not say anything about that person. You need to let your girl feel that she has all your attention. Again, attitude is all that a girl cares about.
What should I do after a date?
Be confident and follow up a call or message right away.
It shows that you have had a good time, you appreciate her time, and you care about her even when you are not together.
Remember what she said and do something accordingly.
For many times, when I dated a guy for a second time he didn't remember what I said on the first date. It was very bad. I know everybody lives a busy life but forgetting about something I mentioned before really makes me feel bad. If you truly had a hard time to remember what your date said, make a spreadsheet and take a note every time after a date. That's how I handle my lots of dates. I'm not superwoman. How could I remember all the details of each single guy I dates? I worked hard!
Once you remember what she mentioned, do something accordingly. For example, she said she was interested in doing ABC. Then on the next date, you brought her to do the ABC. See? You don't even need to ask about how to plan a date because everything has been told already.
ask!
I know many girls and guys always expect their body languages to be understood thus not willing to speak it out. The truth is that women and men have different understanding about certain things. Unless you say it very clearly and directly, your date probably won't fully understand it. For example, my date is worried that I am not gonna see him again. I ask him where and when he would like to see me next time we date. He gives the answer but still worries and keeps asking if we will get together again. I get very mad and say," I already told you by asking you where and when for next date. What do you want me to do? Sign a contract on paper and say we will meet again for sure?!" Another example is that you buy flowers for your lovely girl. Compared to the 99 roses you have in your arm, what is more important is that you say," I love you."
Don't make assumptions. Don't think your indications could be understood. Don't take things for granted. Always ask questions. Always say things clearly and directly. When you are not clear, ask!
