made with dreamlike art ai.
Silly Samantha,
It is your birthday today and I can't find you anywhere. I thought you were out jogging, being at one with nature, and all those things you love to do. I figured I would make you some coffee just the way you love it before you return. Then I noticed it, Sam. Just like you, everything was gone.
You outdid yourself this time and I am not even kidding. You've always thought of yourself as the clever one. You took everything, didn't you? Including the espresso machine and the cheap filters too. Now you know why I nicknamed you “my filter.” Even my creamy and caramel organic coffee is gone. That's a whole bean you know. But I forgive you, Sam, I honestly do.
I know you're probably standing on the balcony of some old ranch house sipping the coffee that you brewed with YOUR espresso machine. I can even imagine that stupid grin on your face right now. You think you've done me dirty, don't you? Well, listen up.
I never liked coffee anyway. And just so you'd know, you make the worst black coffee. It is the reason you always find dark marks on the water cistern. I always flushed them just like I'm going to flush down your memories. That espresso machine you've so graciously acquired right now, I purchased it for you literally. Do you remember that store downtown that sells on credit? Yeah! I purchased it in your name and card. The credit is due a month from the purchase date so you should be getting a debit alert right about now. I believe that would be the perfect $600 birthday present from me to you. Happy Birthday, Sam.
And oh, that funny extra burnt smell in your coffee? I know you smell it right now. It’s from that toasted lizard we found three weeks ago when we cleaned out the oven. I made it into a powder and added it to your stash of coffee. “It's like a sudden flavor boost,” you had said. Have a nice life, Sam. Now you can wipe that stupid grin off your face. I win.
Earl,
Your dearly beloved.
My entry to Cinnamon Cup Coffee weekly writing prompt.