Prologue: I wrote this poetic artistic written piece to try and capture the depth of human malfunction in relationships. After I finished, I sat there quietly kinda choked up because it convicted me of all the moments in my life that I was being utterly self-consumed and writing this allowed me to see it. The point of this is put a finger on the issue and communicate that raw truth about life with words that penetrate into that profound deep the heart. It's really good!!! I promise you will like it!!
Hypocrite:
(An honest poetic exercise of self-examination)
I am a narcissistic hypocrite.
I openly tell the truth to others and secretly lie to myself whenever I can.
Usually, I tell the truth only to myself and lie to others so I can feel powerful.
I do good things all the time so nobody can find any proof that I am a desperately greedy person.
When people ask me if I want to be held accountable, I say, “yes I do” but, I’m lying to their face.
I say, “I want to love you” but, I don’t; I only want to love myself.
I act like I care about you when others are watching but, I actually don't care that you exist.
If I'm found caring for you, it is under false pretense, so I can use you only as an object to get what I want.
I act like I am humble, but I see a person who should be worshiped in the mirror.
I posture and encourage others to speak up for what is right but, I don't really care what's right if it makes me uncomfortable.
I make myself look better than I am at all times because I am preoccupied with what others think of me.
If I think you are honest, I won't trust you.
I use intelligent words that make others think I’m smart, but it is just to hide my own stupidity.
I shine up garbage and sell it as new to others; when they call me for a refund because they find I have sold them trash, I can never be reached because I have turned off my phone while I am too busy laughing about the fact that they were naive enough to trust me.
My heart and feelings are irrelevant; I locked them away in a prison because they were being too inconvenient.
I act carefree and innocent, but I am secretly a shrewd manipulator.
I have no agenda, except I try and control everything at all costs, but I deny that's my agenda.
I feel no empathy for others, but always assure others that I feel for them and their situation.
I’m always around but I'm never available.
I encourage others to get to know me, so they will get close enough for me to use;
If I discover I can’t use you for what I want, I'll assault you with verbal abuse and publicly rant and ridicule you until you leave me alone.
In public, I do religious things but in private I entertain criminal behavior and scheme like an evil person.
I act immorally but profess I am holy and morally blameless.
I take all the best for myself and consider others lucky to be considered.
I am an adult but act like a child.
If you ask me to wait, I’ll hate you immediately.
My motto is: Say one thing and do another. It helps me avoid getting caught.
I can never admit anything that implicates guilt because I don't believe guilt is valid.
To be guilty I have to be wrong, and I'm never wrong; you are.
I say “Honor me”; next time I have an opportunity to honor you, I'll honor myself, because after all,
I’m a narcissistic hypocrite.
