HAPPY MONDAY EVERYONE
I am having an off day today, one of those days where I'm feeling sorry for myself, no energy with loads of pain. Life just seems to keep getting more painful. Since fracturing my spine pain seems to be taking over and winning, I can't just do what I want I have to wait and see how much pain I'm in, most days all I want to do is hide away. I did manage a trip out on Saturday to do a little shopping with my hubby and lovely mother in law, we shopped then went out for lunch, by the time I got home all I wanted to do was go to bed as the pain was so bad, I feel easier when I'm lying flat but can't and won't live that way I have to keep pushing myself.
I had an appointment at the Doctors today for my Flu jab I usually go out wearing my smiley mask pretending everything is fine but today my smiley mask just won't fit so unfortunately people are going to have to deal with the grumps. The nurse who gave me my flu jab asked me how I was feeling I replied Shitty she said well thats being honest. I hope I don't get any side effects from the Flu jab, I've just got over a really bad cough.
Living like this is really tiring there's nothing to look forward to as I know there is always going to be pain. The sad thing is I'm getting annoyed with myself because I can't clean, I'm trying to get up some energy to clean the shower room, hubby will help me when he can, If I attempt it myself it will take a full day as I have to keep lying down until the pain eases, then for the day after I will suffer. It used to take me less than an hour to do. I used to pay a cleaner but still cleaned before the cleaner arrived so pointless and a waste of money that I don't have at the moment.
Life has changed alot over the last couple of years, hubby used to have a really good job with a good wage packet but sadly his health has deteriorated with bad hips and knees, he's already had a hip replacement but with him having some savings he gets no benefits so there's not much coming in now he's not working. He's only 56 but after working on the building sites since he was 18 his joints are failing. He needs another hip replacement plus 2 knee replacements.
I do have 2 pups that make me smile plus my daughters parrotlet Sprout is so cute, we also have a reef tank and a tank with Turtles. I get alot of pleasure from the animals we have, they do take my mind of my pain. Its times like today that I miss my little man Geordie who we lost nearly 2 years ago, he was my best friend, he knew when I was feeling low.
I'm turning 62 next year, this year I have at least learned a few lessons, my life hasn't turned out how I had planned, I wanted certain things to happen but they didn't and they never will so I now have to deal with that. One way of doing that is looking after myself, I am going to make plans around me and hubby and do what makes us happy. Took me 61 years to realise I deserve nice things, its my first time on this planet its not a practise run so the time I have left is going to be about making my life worthwhile.
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