Growing up, one thing that I’ve had to deal with constantly is being ridiculed for the way I look—specifically, the size of my head. It sounds funny to some people, but for me, it was far from a joke. I’ve been insulted countless times, and although I’ve grown thicker skin over the years, I can’t deny how much it affected me—especially during my secondary school days.
That period of my life was honestly the toughest when it came to dealing with head shaming. Whenever I had a disagreement with any of my classmates, especially the boys, they would always use my head as a weapon to insult me. I got all sorts of names like "butu" been thrown at me, names that stung deeply and stuck to my memory longer than I’d like. And the worst part? No matter what I said or did, it didn’t stop. It just felt like my words had no power against their mockery, so I eventually gave up trying to defend myself.
At some point, I started laughing along with them, pretending it didn’t bother me. And maybe in some ways, I convinced myself it was harmless, especially because it was mostly the boys joking around. But then, there was a day that made it touch me deeper than i thought. I was called in class to answer a particular chemistry question and just couldn’t solve it. Immediately, the room erupted with laughter, and the word “butu” echoed from almost every corner, even from the girls. That moment crushed me more than I could explain. It was no longer just a joke between the boys—it became a humiliation on my side.
After that day, insecurity quietly crept into my mind. I started becoming overly conscious of myself, especially in crowded places. I’d sometimes try to see if people were staring at my head, and I found myself withdrawing, trying to stay in the background just to avoid attention or judgment. In fact, at some point, especially when i got to SS2 i was always nervous during those times where our maths teacher would call us randomly to come solve some questions on the board because i just didn't want my head to become a topic again.
Honestly, if you ask me what I did to fix it, I wouldn't say i did much. I actually just tried to carry on like it didn’t affect me, even though deep down, it did. Also, later on, when i eventually got to the chance to see what my dad looked like in real life, I came to understand that—this is who I am. This trait runs in my family. My father has a big head, and even my elder brother has the same features. So, It’s obviously something i inherited, and there is nothing i can do about it, even if i wanted to.
Now, I no longer let it define me or make me feel less than others. I’ve realized that everyone has something they get picked on for, and mine just happened to be my head. But that doesn’t make me any less valuable or worthy of respect. I’m learning to love every part of myself, and I no longer fear what people think. I know it's a part of me—and I’ve made peace with it.
Thanks for reading.
