When i started writing , I had to think things through, and as I reflected, I realized that I already spend so much time lost in my thoughts about a trait that’s pretty noticeable in my family. It’s funny how we can overlook things about ourselves until someone else brings them to our notice.
Growing up, I never really thought much about my head until I got to secondary school. That’s when some friends pointed out that I had a big head. At first, I didn’t agree with them because I viewed it as a flaw and something I was not proud of.
During those years, my friends would call me all sorts of names like “Edward and the likes. Although, i was aware they meant it as a joke and it was all in good fun, but then it didn’t feel that way to me.
You know how boys can be—no matter how many times you ask them to stop, they just keep going. So, I had to live with that through those years, trying to brush it off while feeling self-conscious inside.
You know , I didn’t grow up with my dad, so I never had he chance to see him for many years. But when I finally met him, it was surreal—I knew right away that I inherited my big head from him. He was just like a carbon copy of me, but to my shock, his head was even bigger and larger —big enough to hold a basket
My older brother shares this trait, too; his head is also on the larger side. To make things even worse, he has gained weight, which has made his head look even bigger.
Honestly, this trait runs in our family, particularly among the boys. The girls can easily style their hair or put on wigs to hide their heads, but for us, it feels like this head gene is a badge of honor that we didn’t ask for.
Most of the time, I don’t feel good about this trait. There have been moments where I felt embarrassed to show my face in public, with the mindset that someone might be looking at my head and laughing at me. At times I wonder why he passed this kind of trait to me.
This fear made me even avoid certain social situations and they have been times were I had to put on a face cap just to cover up its size and capacity. It is just a constant struggle between embracing my uniqueness and dealing with the insecurities that comes with it.
Nowadays, i am putting more efforts in showcasing my self without been afraid of the public or friends perception of the head, but then i wont deny the fact that I still catch myself reflecting on on how this trait shapes my self-image..
At the end of the day , I have realized that this shared trait is a part of my family identity, and maybe one day, I’ll fully embrace mine. After all, it’s what makes us uniquely us.
