Death by spider 🕷😩

Ok.. just full disclosure here.. this is a full on shit post.. it literally will be me dramatically retelling the story of why I can’t sleep.. as I almost died from a spider sneak attack and now I can’t sleep.

So, I really wouldn’t blame you for skipping this one.. seriously.. it’s totally ok. I actually had been planning on my SF walk down memory lane.. but unfortunately a spider happened.. and yeah.. death... so no need to read on, just come back another day for something a bit less shitty 😄

_{pretty photo that isn’t of a spider.}

Ok.. some of you are still here? Crazy bastards

Alright, here’s the deal.. I’m scared of spiders, like deathly afraid of spiders. Yes, I hate to admit that.. I hate that I am afraid of spiders. I mean my god, I will flag a whale, take on a coyote and out shoot the boys any day of the week.. but I am scared of a spider? 🙄 it’s flippin ridiculous.. but it’s just the way it is. It’s like by body takes on a life of its own and physically rejects them...

Anyways... as I said I had planned on writing my walk down memory lane post and even was happy that it was going to give me that inspiration I’ve been lacking to post.. that was the goal.

So here I am washing my face for the night, brushing my teeth etc you know, all those things... and all of a sudden some fucking mutant ass spider is there in front of me. Out of bloody nowhere!

I mean, the bastard was huge.. it was so huge😩 and it came out of nowhere!! *why god..

Now clearly I have had to deal with a spider or two in my life, but where the fuck did it come from? I mean it’s bad enough to have a mutant spider in your bathroom, but when one just shows up on your counter like it somehow teleported from the damn enterprise?? That will screw with your head.

So then I had to make a decision...

back away slowly.. lock the door.. and burn that mother fucker down.

OR

Gather some tiny speck of courage and kill that damn thing.

🤔 Well, the first definitely was my first choice for longer than I would like to admit.. but luckily calmer heads prevailed and I threw a shoe at it until it met its maker.

Yes.. so that’s it, right? There was a spider.. I killed the spider.. end of story?

Yeah.. no.

See the problem is when a huge mutant spider just appears out of nowhere.. then well.. now you know a mutant damn spider can appear out of nowhere... and you are literally not safe anywhere 😐

So now my night is ruined.

Here I am cuddled in bed with my tea, attempting to write the walk down memory lane post and every time my hair brushes my arm.. AHHHH MUTANT SPIDER!! ... have an itch on the back of my neck... IS IT THE MUTANT SPIDER?!?! 😭

Ugh.. so now I’m haunted by that damn spider. Because while I may have killed its ass, somehow it’s still winning.

Mutant fucking spider - 1 .... Scaredy Cat Justine - 0

my how the tables have turned...

Yeah, see I told you.. this whole entire post was about a damn spider. I tried to warn you... feel free to downvote but my god.. I cannot move on with my life, I’m officially ruined.

I tried to write a good post tonight, I really did... but all you get is this.. as the spider won tonight.

twitches

That’s all folks!

Much Love,

The girl who died by spider