Although I am not a parent yet, I’ve recently found myself coming across parenting-related topics and sharing my thoughts on them- courtesy of Hive Learners prompts. However, I am aware that parenting is complex and can only be understood by those who experience it. Sometimes, I wonder if all the many things I’ve shared about parenting are true or not. According to Matt Walsh, "Parenting is the easiest thing in the world to have an opinion about, but the hardest thing in the world to do." This means that it is easy for people to discuss and share opinions about parenting. While it is easy to talk about, it is the hardest thing to do. Interestingly, through the many talks I’ve had with older people- parents, I have gained valid points about what parenting entails. So, maybe I’m slightly experienced after all.
Now, the big question is, “How is parenting the hardest thing to do? Isn’t it just to bring a child up and be there for them?” While it seems like an easy thing to do, it is more complex once you get in. Parenting is a zigzag journey with potholes and bad roads. It doesn't start when you give birth; it actually starts before that time. Because before you become a parent, you need to prepare yourself for what's coming. You and your partner need to work on yourselves before you can work on your child. The real journey starts when the first child arrives. Not only must you cater to their needs, but you must also be there to shower them with love, support, and attention. There are several cases of parents who do everything for their kids, but they still end up becoming a menace to society. Such situations raise the question, "Why is parenting so complex?"
Today’s edition of the Hive Learners prompt asks us about the effect of having a particular parent absent from one’s bringing. If it takes two people- the father and mother to make a child, must both parents be there to secure the child’s future? When it comes to parenting, both hands have to be on deck. The most important factor in bringing up a child is teamwork- the father and mother must work hand in hand to ensure that they instill the right values. Things are better when both parents work together. For example; the mother might teach the kids how to handle household chores as love and respect others. On the other hand, the father might teach the kids how to be strong during difficult situations and handle themselves strongly.
When one parent is absent, whether it is the father or mother, the home becomes unstable. It is like a four-legged chair. Remove the two legs and it’ll be impossible for it to stand. However, there are many situations where children grow up with an absent parent and still turn out to be better than those who grew up with both parents. While these cases are rare, they are not impossible to find. Some children still turn out to be responsible despite growing up with an absent parent. Having stated that I’m sure you agree with me that parenting is easier when both parents are involved.
One of the effects of having a particular parent absent from one’s upbringing is emotional stress and disability.
During my elementary school years, teachers often discussed parents. They often asked students questions like, “Where are your parents? What work do your mother and father do?” Children with an absent parent might break down or feel sad when asked this question. During parent-teacher meetings, teachers invite parents to have discussions with them about their kid’s academics. Sometimes, teachers might specifically request the presence of a parent; whether the father or mother. Now, imagine that the teachers strictly warn students to invite their fathers to the meeting, and then the absent parent is the father. Or imagine a case where students boldly talk about their parents- who they are and what they do. In such cases, those who grew up with an absent parent might feel abandoned. This will have some emotional and psychological effects on the students.
As I mentioned above, when it comes to parenting, teamwork has to be in place. The father teaches his kids his own way, while the mother does it from her perspective. One of the effects of an absent parent is that the kid will not enjoy the benefit of experiencing life and learning lessons from both parents.
In conclusion, while I believe that parenting should involve both parents, sometimes circumstances beyond control make absent parenting unavoidable. Being an absent parent does not mean being a failed parent. If the present parent - whether father or mother - can effectively play the role of both parents, then everything will work out well.
Thanks for reading.