For my current mixed media art project, I decided to use a theme I've been dwelling on these past few weeks about moving through time with life's triumphs and difficulties. Then I decided to pursue the opposite.
What if a person can't move forward, but is trapped in a space they either don't know how to release themselves or feel they can't move past.
I can speak on this because I lived it for many years. As a young adult, I believed and felt deeply that two individual who I trusted caused me deep hurt and pain.
Parting ways as the first step that I thought would cure the hurt. It didn't happen. I even verbally convinced myself that I forgave them. Yet, an intense anger remained. I couldn't just let it go. That would have allowed them, in my mind. to "get away" with it. I spent years conjuring up ways to exact a terrifying revenge plot. My love of drama, murder mystery grabbed hold and caught me up in a web of mental espionage.
Why didn't I know?
What clues lay right in front of me that I missed?
What could I have done differently to uncover their deceit? I wished that surveillance equipment was common and at my disposal.
There. Proof positive that my situation was inexorable. Sounds silly? Certainly. Still, I couldn't shake the thought that the persons were living in harmony while I was suffering from the pain they caused.
What I was aggressively participating in was called Rumination. According to Therapy Central, "when we experience something traumatic or deeply disappointing, our minds naturally want to “solve” what happened. We replay events, searching for different outcomes or trying to make sense of the pain. This process, called rumination, can become a mental habit that keeps the past alive in our present experience." 1
Therapy Central attempts to explain why individuals find it extremely difficult. "Letting go of the past is a process of consciously deciding to release the grip of past hurts, regrets, or traumas. It involves acknowledging your feelings, practising acceptance and self-compassion, and shifting your focus to the present and future."
Also, understanding why one can't let go is crucial. Therapy Central also explains that humans and animals have a "negativity bias". This memory is saved by our brain as 'important' when we experience hurt or pain. It helps us to remember to avoid the person or situation in the future. For example, if a bee stings an individual, and that person discovers that the sting is allergic, then that person remembers to avoid bees in the future. So, not all experiences are meant to be totally erased. 1
Finally, in its article, Therapy Central suggests a comprehensive "12 Actionable Steps to Let Go and Move On". Each step builds upon the previous one so that you can keep moving forward as you heal. Please visit for the specific details on how to accomplish these twelve tasks.
| Steps 1 - 6 | Steps 7 - 12 |
|---|---|
| Make a Conscious Decision to Let Go | Moving On |
| Acknowledge/Feel Your Pain Without Judgement | Create Distance/Set Healthy Boundaries |
| Practise Radical Acceptance of What Happened | Ground Yourself With Present Mindfulness |
| Reframe Your Story with Self-Compassion | Focus on What You Can Actually Control |
| Practise Forgiveness (For Them and Especially For You) | Create New Goals and Positive Memories |
| Let Go of Anger and Resentment | Talk It Out (With a Friend or a Professional) |
My healing I stumbled upon entirely by accident.
More years had passed. I spoke to a co-worker about the situation. Immediately she lent me a book that helped her called "Letting Go of Your Past".
Reading it was a Godsend.
The most difficult part of letting go was #6 above, ridding myself of the anger and resentment. It was draining. I can finally say that I "let it go"! and now adhere to these wise words:
"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year. He is rich who owns the day and no one owns the day who allows it to be invaded with fret and anxiety. Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could.
Some blunders and absurdities, no doubt crept in.
Forget them as soon as you can, tomorrow is a new day;
begin it well and serenely, with too high a spirit
to be cumbered with your old nonsense.
"This new day is too dear,
with its hopes and invitations,
to waste a moment on the yesterdays"
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Source 1: "How to Let Go of the Past"
Source 2: Good Reads: Quotes From Ralph Waldo Emerson
Below are my steps to creating my collage design. I utilized Canva, my design program, to blend the different type images which began with a blank, white canvas. I then added layers of elements to complete the blending process in compliance with my Pro Annual Membership Subscription.
The images I included in my project are below:
| Item | Contributor | Source |
|---|---|---|
| Female with coloring | Pixabay | Link |
| Pinwheel flower background in brown | Pixabay | Link |
| Smoky gray abstract painting | Pixabay | Link |
| Marine cut-outs | Pixabay | Link |
| Wild Orchid Flower | Contributed to the #LIL by  @borjan | Link |
| Woolly Thistle Flower | Contributed to the #LIL by @borjan | Link |
| Green Crystals #2 | Contributed to the #LIL by  @quantumg | Link |
| Hourglass #4 | Contributed to the #LIL by @quantumg | Link |
| Pure Fractal titled "Female Cross" |  @justclickindiva | Link |
Good luck everyone with whatever your endeavors.
SUPPORTS THESE COMMUNITIES:
SOURCES:
a) JustClickindiva's Footer created in Canva utilizing its free background and images used with permission from discord admins.
b) Unless otherwise noted, all photos taken by me with my (i) Samsung Galaxy 10" Tablet, (ii) Samsung Phone, & (iii) FUJI FinePix S3380 - 14 Mega Pixels Digital Camera
c) Purple Butterfly part of purchased set of Spiritual Clip Art for my Personal Use
d) All Community logos, banners, page dividers used with permission of Discord Channel admins.
e) Ladies of Hive banner used with permission of and in accordance with the admin's guidelines
f) Thumbnail Image created by me in Canva.
g) "Flames." What is Apophysis 2.09. https://flam3.com/
English is my native language.
If translation included, I use DeepL to assist my readers.
Thanks for your patience and understanding.
