The other night my wife and I took our daughter out for dinner. We had just finished spending the day together doing various activities including spending a couple hours at a local play center of bouncy castles. Our daughter is only 2 1/2 years old and sometimes gets restless when we are waiting for our food.
This particular evening the service was running extra slow, having been waiting for 20mins already we decided to setup our old iPad for our little girl to watch one of her movies on. She sat quietly watching as my wife and I chatted about the day and how much fun we had together as a family. We converse for another 15 or so minutes including our daughter in the conversation here and there but for the most part she was focused on her show and happily distracted.
It was around this time that an elderly couple had finished their meal and had gotten up to leave. I didn't pay much notice to them as they walked past to be honest I didn't even see their faces. However just as the older woman had walked behind me and was closer to the exit she yells out to us "Next time try a book instead of a screen!" Shocked my wife and I kind of sat there looking at each other for a moment as we tried to process what had just happened. Clearly, she was talking to us as there was nobody else around with another tablet device. I sat there trying to make sense of the situation as if it couldn't have actually happened.
Then the rage set in. This woman doesn't know me or my kid! Who is she to pass such judgment? I began brewing the things I wanted to say to her and thought about confronting her in the parking lot outside. By the time it all sunk in they were gone. What was supposed to be a nice family outing ruined. Embarrassed and feeling shamed we quietly finished our meal and headed home.
A couple days later my wife was invited to a playdate with a mutual friend and her child. It was then my wife told her of our parent shaming happening. The friend agreed that it was rude of the woman to express her opinion in such a manner but stated that she was in total support for anti-screens with children.
I do not understand the anti-screen thing. I do not believe that it is screens that ruin a child's up-bringing but poor parenting. What the old woman did not know is that we read to our daughter everyday sometimes 3-4 books at night before bed. Our little girl can recite her favorite books word for word. She can count to 10, knows her alphabet and is very articulate. Most of what she has learned has been from us as parents dedicating the time to teaching her, but some has also been from the regulated screen time she has been exposed to. Her movies have helped teach her new words and sentence structure. Lots of her favorite songs she sings come from her shows. Her creativity and growing imagination spans from movies and children shows. I am not saying that screens are the be all and end all, but rather a tool to use in moderation. It allows us some time to get what we need to get done while keeping her safely occupied.
Many times, she has willing chosen to look at books or play with her toys over watching a movie, and of course we encourage this but when all else fails sometimes she just wants to be a kid and watch something fun and unwind. I mean don't we all?
I'm curious if anyone else has had a similar experience and if so what’s your thoughts on this?
