I put my hands in his fingers. Quilts gently on their heads until they do not feel. I kissed her forehead so they could feel the warmth of my love. Remembered the words of his dad that we would be happy in the world and take his heaven together. But it will only be his best advice to me to await my bright future with our baby. Not because I can not afford to lose it, but it's just a matter of time to get things right.
I'm only a 24-year-old mother. However, the fate of God says otherwise. Not even eight years old my marriage, my beloved husband left me to pick up his heaven first. A glimpse of the shadow of the past comes back to life, remembering the hard times I had to face at the time.
My mouth was silent, my body unable to strengthen my bones. Looking at the room smelled of medicine with eyes that no longer clear. The ears could no longer hear what the people around me were saying. My mind drifted through the half-life of my soul. But a few hours passed, my silence stopped. My eyes widened looking here and there. And my ears opened wide for me to be able to find lovers. With a stammer I venture to ask my mother,

"Mom, where is my husband? Is not this a bu hospital? What's wrong with me? "I asked in a low voice.
Mother stared at me, as if to clarify her words to me, "It's okay my pretty, your husband's different room with you. Because your husband is not too bad compared to you, mother just ask you to rest "replied my mother.
My breath was relieved, my eyes began to shine brightly. My desire to go home with my husband was hovering my dad. I've been thinking about cooking her favorite food, and I promise to give her a meal when my body is able to stand upright, and my fingers are able to move simultaneously.
Rushing I asked for help to help my mother stand up and lead me in the direction where I should take the holy water. Kubasahi ten fingers and my palms, washed my entire face to look fresh again. I drank water all over my hands to my elbows. I cleaned the tip of my hair and ears. Finally the soft kuelus of my feet with water from the ankles to the soles of the feet. Then while I prayed for my gratitude to the Almighty still given a long life.
Mother's shoulders supported me back to my bed, and I saw my father was issuing blue and red money from his wallet to be handed over to the hospital staff. Seeing him so tired I tried to hold back my tears, I step foot so that these tears do not spill in front of my mother. Mother-eyed, mother put on a head cover for me and pulled my blanket so that my legs could not be seen by anyone. I moved my hands slowly while I said the sentence slowly. Until the last rakaat mother still loyal waiting beside me while stroking my head after prayer. I kiss the back of his hand and rest my head on his shoulder.
As I spoke softly I said, "Mom, forgive the word to make mom and dad have to spend the night here ?. Who will keep my children bu? ".
She leaned my shoulder against the cushion where I was in the hospital, in a quiet tone the mother replied, "There are your sisters and your aunts who will look after your children, calm down the most important thing you can recover first".
"Yeah, thank you for looking after me and the kids well, but can you take me to meet my husband?", Do not feel this tears drip into the hands of the mother. Unable to contain it again, I raised my hands and asked the Lord to keep my parents.
My mother and I were lost in solitude. This fatigue leads us into the realm of dreams. I told my mother to call my father to take care of my husband.
week passed, there are menjanggal in my heart. why up to 7 days I don't reunited with my husband. I asked-asked in my heart it looks like the fear of losing it perch in the heart and my chest. to cool am trying to calm my soul, suddenly mother take me the streets in the Park hospital with a reason to clear the mind both of US. while walking towards the garden. suddenly father there behind participate push chair rodaku. "father definitely out treating-law's father well," I said while melihatkan dimples and ratanya gigiku. but the father silent, staring at around the Park and looked at the mother. as if to say something to me. I wrinkled forehead while looking at them. "father, mother, exactly what you hide me? wouldn't you want to see I recover and quickly home? what's wrong with my husband?" my chest instantly stiff and feels dinjak-stepped by millions of people. as if shocks this being-so, in which the feeling want to know about the existence of my husband. "son, mom and dad always take care of and take care of and your children. believe me your husband now already a big smile in heaven him. you have come take him to heaven son. your job is now a mother's the best for your children." responsible father with tears well, and mother to hug me with closely. only able to silent, my eyes not flashing the least. I took off the flow of infusion in my finger, and my body tore the arms of closely mother. my feet want to move away and look for my husband. as if the dream for me to receive this fact, a week ago he still drove to shopping needs of children. I still insist to go and look for my husband around the room hospital. "I believe my husband is still alive, father, mother". while crawl and Isaac tears I find my husband in the room one-by one. mother hold my body, and father read istighfar in my ear. but none of the room I found my husband was lying, Isaac tears the fast to dissolve the silence of the hospital. all patients and staff the hospital looked at me. while running-Larian, kutatapi around the eyes fixed in the figure of myself. "my husband, my husband ..." sound lantangku the making noise in the hospital famous kemewahnnya it. running also make my body is not able to again fast-moving, leaning self on the walls of the White right beside me. trying to erode the sense of kehilanganku by considering the promise of those beloved. view all events that made me this self are in the building is full of these drugs. with rubbed tears in my cheek, I tried continue to dig a sense of sincere in the liver. However, there can I find that time. watching Green grass in the garden, remembered third my son. with anxiety that accumulate in the heart and mind, kulangkahkan feet to my parents that away from my anger. embrace their closely, as if this self not want to feel the loss of people terhebatku for both times. with sports increasingly fragile, mom takes me back to where I should have a soothing mind. "lie son !. ikhlaskan what is happening in this life, everything is of destiny Almighty son, if there is the same people just like your husband, will definitely mother and father search across the world for you", while mother's kiss my hand. for the sake of calm the body and soul, nurse willing to give an injection drug in my body. in minutes, myself into human lifeless. hovering and break through to Dreamland hope to meet with the people who the beloved in the real world. save a million love yourself, making this heart instantly dead. tries realize self in order to receive the fate of the divine. it turns out I sleep up at night quiet. tortured to the receive the harsh reality that i've had. until arrived at the morning lonely, eye-opening with cool and trying kutata neat this heart. try grateful for the life second, life have begun with said said ikhlas the store in the heart and mind this. start the day without husband in hand, husband who are willing to sacrifice sports his soul in order to save my life. only strands of prayer capable kupanjatkan to himself, even though we nature of different. belief that he is much happier in heaven his able to grow the spirit of the soul. shortly my eyes not flashing see the middle-aged women into my office, wear neat by bringing flower arrangements in his hand. he looks friendly trying to say Hello to me, "morning, ma'am Fira beautiful. you mind sitting near mother?", Blue eyes refresh my view. "please, but you mind I asked. who your name and what kepentinganmu here? I really don't know you. I said while trying to count the number of my friend and remember all his name. However, no I found his face in memory." I was a friend while you. I will try to help you out of a slumped to rise achieve your future mom Fira. wouldn't you know roses in my hands this very beautiful, he is able to Bloom scent when smell our noses? '. hand held the interest in order fragrance can kuhirup. "Yes, I know. rose was beautifully beautiful, fragrant also", I replied light. "aren't we also have to be like roses? that spread the aroma fragrances for those who pick. similarly human to spread the spirit and smile beautiful for the surrounding areas. and would you like to human, which is able to smile back at least for both parents and children you?", he whispered soft in my ear.
I was stunned to hear the words of words that he was haturkan to encourage me, he is a middle-aged mother who had studied in the psychological world, understand the inner war that I'm experiencing now. He had great intentions and efforts to restore my soul's healing, to grief and sadness after my husband's death.
Every day he comes into my room just to ask how I feel, what I want in my life for the future. He led me to rewrite my dreams on the white paper he brought for me. He realized that at a fairly young age, there are still many dreams that I need to realize to make my three sons happy.
Realizing that I really remember the bitter events of my life several years ago. Now I am only able to make the bitter reality a meaningful learning of life. Still with the same circumstances, but right now I must be able to get through hard times with my baby. The fruit of the heart of the blossoming of love and my love with my husband, which I have to keep until the end of my life later. Going back in the days as a career mother and woman, collecting money coins for educational needs and daily needs in our lives.
I realize this self can not be said to be young again, with a very heavy burden I was alone. Working hard for them is an important thing I have to record every day. The spirit that should be nurtured by lovers, now have to cultivate and kusiram itself so as not to wither time consumed. All three of my hearts are an important reason I can survive today. Their smiles became a sign of happiness for me.