What does an Engineer use for contraception? His personality!
[robbery in progress in the store I'm at] *quickly remembers training from karate school* *bows to robber* *is kicked in head so hard*
I met my soulmate. She didn't.
How can you tell when an accountant is extroverted? He looks at your shoes while he's talking to you instead of his own.
My dumb friend told me the 'pull my finger' joke ends w you farting, NOT shitting your pants. He's wrong, right? RIGHT???
