If I ever got stranded on an island, I could totally use the glare that bounces off the whiteness of my legs to signal for help.
I overheard my wife singing in the shower. ""You should go on America's Got Talent,"" I told her. ""I can't sing,"" she replied. I said, ""Exactly.""
What do you call a group of gay elephants? A parade.
What do you call a psychic midget that just robbed a bank? Small medium at large
Why did the bald man cut holes in his pockets ? To run his hands through his hair.
