What do you call a magical creature with a skin disease? A leperchaun.
Why did the girltree fall in love with the boy tree? He was sappy
*watches a house fall on you* *steals your shoes*
A man comes home with a bouquet of flowers for his girlfriend... She says ""I guess I'll have to spread my legs now"" And he replies ""Why, don't you have a vase?""
When people ask, ""Don't I know you from somewhere?"", I reply ""Yes, we were best friends as children until you murdered my puppy.""