I just got ripped off by a Chinese guy. This pan he sold me doesn't fly at all.
Girl, do you watch football? Cuz I'll finger blast you harder than Jason Pierre Paul
Did you hear about the witch who did a four year course in ugliness? She finished it in two.
[morgue] mum: [crying over my bullet ridden body] how did this happen cop: the robber yelled ""everyone be cool"" so he tried to do a kickflip
If I had a time machine I'd take 17 dollars to 1901 and buy several luxurious homes. Related: does anyone have a time machine and 17 dollars