xpost from /r/tellmeajoke TMAJ that includes ""shotgun"" and ""paring knife""
Lucky I didn't get caught... I was nailing this chick in the park the other weekend. And I was so lucky not to get caught. Supposedly crucifixions are illegal these days
Need a joke to tell my Public Speaking class this Monday.. Can be as crude as you want, but no racist or sexist jokes.
I still haven't found the key to happiness... ...but I'm starting to feel like whoever locked it up is a real dick.
Pupil (on phone) : My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to school today. School Secretary: Who is this? Pupil: This is my father speaking!