Why do some birds fly south for the winter? Its to far to walk.
INTERVIEWER: this says u work well with otters. Did u mean others? ME (shoving a romp of otters back into my briefcase): haha yeah of course
Why do Americans write ""color"" instead of ""colour""? Because fuck ""u"", that's why.
What did onlookers say to the Wright Brothers as they took off? BYE PLANE
People who believe in aliens are such freaking idiots. I'll tweet more about it when I get back from my Bigfoot hunt tonight.
